iPhone, HP 17" laptop, deals2Buy, Best Buy, Kohl's, Dulles, Dubai, Hartford, frustration, America, Lexis Nexis, Aetna, Infosys, Middletown, Blogs, travel to America, almost thrown out of the job, lying low, on the bench, transition to the new age, relationship formalized, SS, blog woes, working like hell, late nights, gave up on beer, desparate for good peaceful times, nagging managers, ridiculous team members, arguments, a very helping room mate, blog interview, Arm Ball, 55 Fiction, Bajaj Pulsar
2010 is on and hope this is best one for me in years. And best of all of us, country and of course.
Amen,
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2009 in a disappointing end
The 2009 ends in a disappointment that I could not get what I aspired for in entirety. I was able to quash the bad reputation tagged against me since the onset of the year, but not totally.
In the end i can draw comfort feel that I was honest and committed to everything I did. Career was most important aspect for me in 2009 and would be in 2010. I delivered a project in style with good feedback from the client and others. Offshore team remained nagging and a pain in the S.
In the end going back for what is called biggest thing may not be best thing to do when you come to know that the person involved actually does not care about the plans or an open talk with you over the things ahead. And thats when you feel lost, feel WHAT ?
Anyways the disappointment is always going to be there and big question marks going to the fire ring.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Notice : Blog closed
The old blog woes seem to have returned back. I am not sure who is reading my entire Razmatazz Blog, just to be sure that its not used against me and it remains sane and sacred, I have closed it for a while.
Unusual activity on the blog from 2 IP addresses, dunno if the reader is a fan or a crook with evil intentions.
Notice : Blog closed
The old blog woes seem to have returned back. I am not sure who is reading my entire Razmatazz Blog, just to be sure that its not used against me and it remains sane and sacred, I have closed it for a while.
Unusual activity on the blog from 2 IP addresses, dunno if the reader is a fan or a crook with evil intentions.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Favor needed
A humble request to you guys to just wish that what I want now is granted to me. Prayers, wishes, luck needed. And the ETA (expected time of finish) is 12/30.
Want to end the 2009 with a pleasent news of getting the most desired thing right now. Please if you could pray for me in a positive way or wish me some good luck then I'd owe gratitude for you guys.
Need luck, assertion, power and convincing right now.
Please let me get what I deserve (I deserve good things NOW) thats my prayer to the supreme ALMIGHTY above.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Anniversary
Christmas time.
12.25.05.
An alliance supposed to be divine and long for the importance of the day it was fixed, the relationship that was supposed to last lives, it just fell apart by the next Christmas.
A and S could never get along, not then, not now and never again.
That was supposed to be doomed. And doomed it was. 4 years on, the voices were not recognizable when at a time the voice would suggest how good the mood was or the feelings of the other person were. That was this kind of depth in first few months.
4 years on both have moved on. What's not moved on are the silhouettes and the painful memoirs of the past. The worst being the two pink hankies.
Anniversary
Christmas time.
12.25.05.
An alliance supposed to be divine and long for the importance of the day it was fixed, the relationship that was supposed to last lives, it just fell apart by the next Christmas.
A and S could never get along, not then, not now and never again.
That was supposed to be doomed. And doomed it was. 4 years on, the voices were not recognizable when at a time the voice would suggest how good the mood was or the feelings of the other person were. That was this kind of depth in first few months.
4 years on both have moved on. What's not moved on are the silhouettes and the painful memoirs of the past. The worst being the two pink hankies.
Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my leftover readers.
2009 is all set to end to enter into the 2nd decade of the century. 2010. A year supposed to be changing the path of the life of this blogger.
2010 comes with an uncertainty. As in where I would be. Middletown ? Pune ? Or somewhere else ?
2009 has been a mixed year for me just like 2008. 2008 was a transition year. 2009 was a year when I finished the transition from a shaky edgy person to a confident yet reluctant but independent and individualistic person.
Reluctance to do all those nonsense stuff of a relationship, ok have talked about them a lot.
I am trying to be a person who would be chilled and 2010 is going to be that type of year to me.
Lot of plans are in place to be with her and enjoying the life in 2010. If in India then the movies would resume. Weekend night movies. They make sense. Start at 730ish for the mall which also has multiplex (same in Indore / Blore), shop something, have dinner and then movie. Late night coffee and then head home.
When I was in Pune, I did this almost every weekend except for few months this year when movies did not release and there was fcu** work in office.
Movies make life colorful. I am surprised how people afford not to see movies.
Blogs are set to be part of my life again in 2010.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
2009 : A lookback part 1
My life is a real roller coaster. Absolutely. Its never short of excitement and its never got a dull moment. I am swaying in nervous feelings and extremes. Do i stay or do i go ?
What happens ? Till today morning the things looked bleak and feeble.
In the afternoon one IM from my senior manager brightened up the day. Further opportunity beckons and thats pretty good.
2009 has been hectic for me. Rigorous work and extensive pressure.
Things are so different right now than they were in 2008. I was in hunt of an apartment that time and I didnt know then what would happen. I remember I had seen so many apartments and did not like any for the rents quoted and localities suggested.
2009 has been worst in terms of people with whom I worked. Right in Jan - April and then Aug - till date I have run into idiotic managers and asshole team members.
I hope 2010 would see a brighter future for me and better people to work with. At least nobody who do not want to work and want to grab all the fame and credit.
2010 is time when the karma should return me good times and returns for all the toiled times in last 4 or 5 years. 2010 is also the time when the love and other good things should enter the life and stay forever.
The next two weeks are uncertain and thats precisely i hate. I hate being in uncertain times and condition when decision lies in other person / stakeholders.
Let better times roll in everybody's lives in 2010.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Cribbing!!
Talking sensual stuff with your girl makes her go silent on phone. What do you make of it ? She doesnt like it or is she uncomfortable?
Wassup ?
Nothing.
Wassdown?
Nothing.
Wasscentral ?
Nothing.
Talk later then ?
Did I say to cut the phone ?
You dont say anything.
You dont understand me.
What ?
You dont read my mind.
Bam Slam.
Phone is banged.
Tears!!!
I m like what ????
And when you call back you listen tears...........
And if you dont call back then you get 7 missed calls in 2 mins. Call back and silence.
Poor man!!!!
Being ambitious always comes with its own set of wrongs. You got to live with the uncertainities and stuff. Not good. It is bad to be in uncertainity.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Questions
50th one.
When the girls ask questions like where were you when I called you or why did not you call after I called you x times, then you should feel that there are going to be some topsy tervy nervy moments in the relationship ahead.
He thought the same when he was fired with this questions one fine Sunday. He could not help but get frowned and irritated. He gave silent treatment and then those questions stopped.
Questions
50th one.
When the girls ask questions like where were you when I called you or why did not you call after I called you x times, then you should feel that there are going to be some topsy tervy nervy moments in the relationship ahead.
He thought the same when he was fired with this questions one fine Sunday. He could not help but get frowned and irritated. He gave silent treatment and then those questions stopped.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Weekend Vichar
Okay I need a fresh perspective. A PTO. Personal time off. Exhausted and ran out of steam. And thats the reason why behind some retro thoughts and silent treatment to her. Not good.
2nd consecutive production install went fine this Thursday and that finishes my first aim of the visit here -- wipe off the reputation that I am not a good finisher of the projects. And I have got good words from client manager too. What else ?
Have been going out on client luncheons and trust me have been struggling with veg diet. Last week went for a Mexican restaurant "On the Border" and then this week in Baci's Grill. Horrible stuff. And on the day of production install had "Pizzas". US Pizzas are horrible. Upset tummy.
I am now few steps away from returning full time to this blog. Wanted time away and had it. Thoughts needed to be rejuvenated and they are going to be done.
Harshita, thanks for the frank advice and Ria, Dhanya, Sneha to second her. I third her and so I decided not to dwell much over the bygones. Bygones are gone and not gonna come back. Patterns could repeat, but if I am strong enough to avoid that then no way the past would haunt me.
And its time to find new readers too.
By the by I have got new laptop and a Canon SD 1200 Kamira (Camera) this week and surprisingly I am very cold for it. New laptop had a drama with it, another post for it, but my love for HP laptop just increased.
Its freakingly cold here. -6 degrees. Have got my winter gear and I look good while wearing that. So would wear it. This is the awesomest part of the year here in America. Cold. I love winters. I love snow too when it doesnt rain. Snow and rains are deadly and gloomy combo.
Watched Rocket Singh and it was okish. Disappointment when you see that this director had given us Chak De in the past. But then it had SRK and this one has Ranbir. He is a good actor, but has typecasted expressions. Not as versatile as his father, who is an awesome actor.
Gotta watch Paa for AB. But VB deters me from watching it. She screams and terms it acting. Just like Konki.
Valentine day is gonna be special this year ownwards :P
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sepia tinted memories
He saw those snaps closely. When movie played it through, he saw close look at those snaps. The snaps poked laughter at him. They ridiculed him. Sepia tinted memories. Those snaps of her, which he thought was not happy, but the snaps told a different story.
Eating out of the common plate, walking down the aisle together. The blushing when they tied the knot at flushing....
The bundle of memories stuck somewhere came in front of him. The shock, the horror and the awe came in front of him.....
Eating out of the common plate, walking down the aisle together. The blushing when they tied the knot at flushing....
The bundle of memories stuck somewhere came in front of him. The shock, the horror and the awe came in front of him.....
Sepia tinted memories
He saw those snaps closely. When movie played it through, he saw close look at those snaps. The snaps poked laughter at him. They ridiculed him. Sepia tinted memories. Those snaps of her, which he thought was not happy, but the snaps told a different story.
Eating out of the common plate, walking down the aisle together. The blushing when they tied the knot at flushing....
The bundle of memories stuck somewhere came in front of him. The shock, the horror and the awe came in front of him.....
Eating out of the common plate, walking down the aisle together. The blushing when they tied the knot at flushing....
The bundle of memories stuck somewhere came in front of him. The shock, the horror and the awe came in front of him.....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Forever ?
"Forever is a reality. Being caught in love forever. Thats not a myth. Only thing is you got to believe it that its true and it would be true. Come whatsoever, you got to believe it."
Lol.
Movies make you believe so.
Lol.
Movies make you believe so.
Forever ?
"Forever is a reality. Being caught in love forever. Thats not a myth. Only thing is you got to believe it that its true and it would be true. Come whatsoever, you got to believe it."
Lol.
Movies make you believe so.
Lol.
Movies make you believe so.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
What could have beens
What could have beens scare me.
What if I was in India now and wanted to meet her as often as I could and if she had problems in it or her orthodox family members had problems in it ? How would I have taken it ? Shuttling between Pune to her city and then back to my home would have been an expensive stuff.
I have already holded back myself on repeating anything I did for Akki 3 years back. She remains the best one I loved. Thats improbable to repeat and even do half bit of it. Such was the intensity. And it was automatic. It came within and it was beyond the words of excellence and exuberence. But as long as it was great, it was good. THings turned bad and every bit of that went down in the drain. The same face which charmed me to the core started giving me nightmares.
The fights, the scuffles and the stupid fights to prove who wins and it was over. We walked out on each other leaving a huge hole in my life. I was void and empty. And thats what scares me now. I do not want to build any expectation now that could break later. I do not want to give her high hopes about how life could be and would be only to find later that it breaks.
She wants me to speak to her when she sleeps and before I sleep. Nice innocent thought. However thats not everytime possible. Her night is my day working at peak and attending meetings at the stretch. My night is her day when she is surrounded by her family and my room mate lures around looking for my laptop for his car deals. Quite possible one day I could not pick up the phone owing to being busy in the meetings or somewhere else. So whats gonna mean?
Stupid allegations that you dont take me seriously or you just work ? What ?
I compare myself to the times when I was in 2006 and what I am now. And thats a dangerous comparison. I know that high can never be attained and there wont be another summit of 2006 when things were very very bright and sunny. Alas later that year, the things were darkest and gloomiest for me.
I dont compare her with A. There can be no comparison.
WHats the end of this battle ? I am the loser in this. And that would be very unfair with everybody. Biggest would be her. She has no business being treated like this. She has been
I just cant drive myself to a point where I can be talking very close talks with her right now this stage of time. If i try that I wont be honest with myself. Being honest with myself has been the driving factor all through out my life. And if I am not able to do that, there is very little left for me to do and achieve.
This is a strange crossroad of life where an intense past beholds you to moving into a golden future. Future that would set all the wrongs of the past right. And that wont come on its own. Efforts would have to be made keeping the past aside. Daemons of the past will need to be kept aside and will need to move on.
Caught up between two phases of my life is a very embarrasing thing to be in.
Bade Bade desho me aisi baatein hoti rehti hain.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Work
Being expressive is always the key for good relationship and healthy relationship. It keeps the zing alive. If the relationship is to last long, you got to tell your partner what you feel. Expecting he would be a mind reader is a recipe for disaster.
Scary.
I have been head over heels for the work i am doing. Challenging and time bound. Thats been the story of the year. One year on, the horrific project began in 2008 and it almost made me lose my job.
The manager in that project who before coming in the project (Bharsu Timma, referred on this blog) had an eye surgery and doctors owed it to the relentless work pressure he had. Being a meek and unassertive he took everything in stride and ended up in a hole when he had a break down. He ought to have spoken. Its like if you have good health, you have everything.
He didnt speak. I spoke cos I couldnt take the pressure which was just ridiculous.
This project has been good, i learnt new things and I put my reputation on hold back to the track when they said I could not communicate with the client.
Offshore remains a nagging problem, but then thats something which got to live with.
Last few days have been very very busy and race against time to get this delivered. Tough task, its good learning experience though.
i am now considerng serious return to the blog cos that kept me off the hook and the pressure. Keeps boosting my writing skills. Still taking it post by post and day by day.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Was he insecure ?
He was happy. He was going to marry again. And she looked good. They started slowly talking to each other. She wanted to speak to him every night before she went to sleep under her cosy quilt. They could not meet every day as they were time zones apart, but she had started feeling good about the upcoming big day.
He was hollow. He had loved somebody to core and had a painful heartbreak. He was wary, he was skeptical. He had doubts if ever he would be able to love her and would that be fair with her given no fault of hers.
He tried to talk the way every guy does with his girl, but he just could not. He was hollow and his wish to love had ended. He just wanted to be happy like he was and wanted to be friendly with her before getting cosy.
Was he insecure ?
Was he insecure ?
He was happy. He was going to marry again. And she looked good. They started slowly talking to each other. She wanted to speak to him every night before she went to sleep under her cosy quilt. They could not meet every day as they were time zones apart, but she had started feeling good about the upcoming big day.
He was hollow. He had loved somebody to core and had a painful heartbreak. He was wary, he was skeptical. He had doubts if ever he would be able to love her and would that be fair with her given no fault of hers.
He tried to talk the way every guy does with his girl, but he just could not. He was hollow and his wish to love had ended. He just wanted to be happy like he was and wanted to be friendly with her before getting cosy.
Was he insecure ?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sweet Pampering Talks : Save me
Ok its a double triple nelson post (222). English are very orthodox about it. And a bit skeptical too.
For that matter, I am skeptical too. Of being carried away in relationship. For close to a month now, I have been very grounded and perhaps have written on the blog too.
Last 2 weeks or so, the things are hotting up. I dont want to get to that trap. Thats a sweet trap, but it suffocates.
I still aint able to come out of the night of 25th December 2005 when I was sweetly lured into a trap and it took me long long long time to come out of.
Relationship bloopers are the last thing I want this stage of my life.
All this days, I have talked mushy with her and later I have regretted. Its like cmon Sam how can you do this. You know you've been through hell when Akki thing ended. Still I do it.
I hate being carried away. I think I am quite a cool person which I am not. I harm myself.
Getting to know each other is fine and occasional leg pulling is fine, but mushy talks is not needed. No more. When things go bad, this hurts. I have been through hell and if I dont learn out of that, I would be known a fool.
Am I insecure ? Am I afraid ? Am I being too much thoughtful ? I feel the best thing here to do is to let things go on their own. And not force things and want her to speak what I want. Rather let her speak what she wants to. When she would feel fine reciprocating feelings, it would be fine with me.
Its quite complex. I need to back up a bit. I have to get to the feeling where any mushy talk from her or from my end wont carry me into being a fool or being lured to a trap.
I fear heartbreak. Its a nightmare for me. More than a dog bite, I fear for it.
I mean no offence for her. She is nice sweet girl. I might still end up loving her some time later, but right now I want to hold back myself so that i dont get hurt just in case.
What do you suggest ? Am I making too big an issue out of it ?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Varied thoughts
My thoughts just started getting intense and the urge to write something is getting stronger. If that would result in a new blog, I dont know. So let me put something over here.
All the mushy talks in the relationship are like the steam which evaporate in the air when things turn bad. And if things turn bad, you feel hurt and question those mushy times how did they turn nasty ?
Akki experience makes me very cautious and laidback. So I keep taking steps back and keep myself holding back whenever i feel that I am being carried away in the flow of mushy stuff. One more heartbreak ? No please.
I was away over the Thanksgiving weekend to my best trip of life or rather best vacation. Been to the city of my dreams -- NYC, then DC, Philli and Baltimore.
5 cities, 3 days and 7 states.
And obviously I did not carry laptop, so was not online. People asked me questions whats wrong with me ? I was like what the hell ? Cant I be away or m I not supposed to be ? I m forever online, but this trip was just awesome.
Now there have been some reasons why I havent had been updating my personal life out here in full details. Reason : fear of being hated and hate communities being formed against me on a social network site, I wont even know of.
Yeah Dubai and Russia bloggers do that or did that. And somehow they kept track of me, just like Victoria kept track of Bella.
Its the end of road almost for me in current organization. Not sure what I would do, stick in or go away. But some action needs to be taken soon.
I hope to return back to bloggerville soon with consistency. Till that time, if you want to, enjoy this spordiac posts.
Haffun and stay blessed.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
After thought
Bloggers have given up on me after my quitting decision made public. Lol. I have imported my 3 other closed blogs here and now this blog is 220 posts strong.
I am going gung ho on twitter.
For those who might want to follow me or be in touch thru tweeting can see me @ http://twitter.com/Chandler_2
Chandler_2 is my twitter handle.
i tweet through iPhone and Mozilla.
A lot more insight into my personal stuff and the ongoing 11/26 euphoria. Yeah, one year on we still await that Kasab should be gunned down the same way he gunned down 100s of fellow countrymen in Mumbai with his 9 Pakistani friends. Lot of tweets on that too.
I had to close this blog cos of many reasons ;
- I want to start afresh. New thoughts, new blog. I got that some zing back in last two days. It feels a bit empty and void not to check the blog for comments, but words are still to find some way back in my head. I dont want the blog to be cribbing zone or being negative.
- I want to start new with her erasing all past memories and references to A.
- I want to move on.
So if you have liked my posts and if you are not Sameera or Lena, then do keep checking this blog for a probable declaration of new blog URL in next few hours or days.
When I began last year on this space, the intent was to be spicy, funny and humurous. Instead 2009 turned out to be trying year in terms of career with 2 back to back rubbish teams at my disposal. So i had to get those feelings out and the blog was the best place to do so.
Alright, do follow me on twitter and if you could update me with your handles, so that we could be in touch. I would ideally like to be talking with each of my readers as possible as the element of fear, insecurity and enigma is now almost gone. Lets see how it goes.
14 Feb would be a day to remember for me for life. And its not bcos its Valentine day. And neither my bday or her bday falls on this day.
Keep hooked. Keep safe.
Love ya all.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Epilogue.
Alright 200.
And last one.
Time to quit. I have lost the zing. I have lost the zeal and will to write. And my objective to blog is long done. To heal and recover. Grace of GOD, I have done it well.
I have had best of times and then worst of times here. People came and went. Few remained throughout. I wanted to be in touch with them, but somehow they denounced. No hard feelings.
I start my new life in few months of time and I wish it would be very successful and happiest for me. Achieve that which I could not all this while.
Love somebody, get love in return. Live a life forever wala. All those poems I wrote when I had nobody in life, now I can offer them to somebody and only her. Hopefully she likes it.
Hopefully I am able to walk the blueprint of the life I wrote here many times. Hopefully everything works out. We evolve, we grow in love, we reach the ascendant of everything we want and we balance every aspect of the life. I also hope the ghost of past dont come back to haunt us. I hope everything goes out well and we live life full of excitement, love.
I wish we just complete each other and complement each other in every aspect in what was missing all this while. Time to bid goodbye to Razmatazzz Lounge, inspired from one of the very best and intense blogger of painful days.
For now its a sabbatical. I would continue reading the blogs on my blogroll and on my Google Subscrips. Comeback on this blog is ruled out. May be some day new blog or not at all.
Have a good life guys. End of Chandler, end of Razmataaaz Lounge.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Fiinally I arrive!!!
My prod install went perfect and awesome. Lol. The bunch of destractors back home would be disappointed. Who bothers. My moment in the sun!!!
My best period in life in years. Profesionally and personally.
Touchwood.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Cherish your Good times
When the past comes right in front of your eyes, you get swamped in emotions. You could have moved on and left the past behind, the whiff of the past swamps you right in those moments when your heart bore pain and swimmed across the oceans of hurt feelings.
Right here. Cherish your good times. Cherish your good memories. They are too little and they last little less than the pain ful times and the hurt days.
Cherish your time. Let your good times not slip out of your hands. Cherish your relationships. For good. For ever.
Cherish your Good times
When the past comes right in front of your eyes, you get swamped in emotions. You could have moved on and left the past behind, the whiff of the past swamps you right in those moments when your heart bore pain and swimmed across the oceans of hurt feelings.
Right here. Cherish your good times. Cherish your good memories. They are too little and they last little less than the pain ful times and the hurt days.
Cherish your time. Let your good times not slip out of your hands. Cherish your relationships. For good. For ever.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Live Blogging from Production Install
Wednesday : Well before my implementation of project.
4 : 50 PM
Alright this is live blogging during the implementation. That is my project going into the production. Thats my 4th such occasion. 3 being in IBM 5 years back :)
5:10 PM
The omens were not very good. Was subdued. And then I lost 5 $ in the vending machine where I went to get the choclates and drinks stuff for me. It was going to be a 6 hour stay here in the office. But now I lost 5 $. 230 Rs.
If I am able to get through next month and half without any issue and escalations I d be doing a great job. When I came here people back home in the DC were apprehensive when I came here about the feedback I had for the past project and the stuff you see here on the blog a post before this. One good completion of this project would mean that a lot of bad stuff about me would be flushed off. May be I m too touchy about it.
5:20 PM
Just ordered a Grinder. Its kinda sandwich. I hate pizzas from here. Dominos and Pizza Hut taste makes me forget all other flavors. Yesterday went to one such outing and had veg pizzas. Damn I hate veg pizzas. Yeah right, since the days of Spicy Indian Veg. That has a karmic connection with me. I hate it. I cant have non veg stuff out here as my room mate is a pure veggie. And so I cant be anybody else.
I havent mixed much with the team here or with the people (desis) in the 'society / apartments' I live. I have been working most of the time and if nt, then have been hooked to the net. So havent got much time to mix n glue.
6:44 PM
2nd consecutive day I m having a Pizza in the dinner and right now its in the office. Grinder didnt come. Bianca did and it thankfully had some chicken pieces in it. So the taste resembled my fav BBQ Chicken from Dominos back in India. Wasnt spicy but was the best in 3 months here.
6 : 15 PM
Prod install is going on fine. Minor glitches here and there. My big day would be the weekend when my piece of code would be tested. So I hope it doesnt break.
6: 30 PM
My assignment ends on Dec 31, 2009. So either its back to India which I dont want to go now for long or its a change of location here itself. And with the big day approaching, I am in a flux. Both things are very close to me and both things matter. If I have to chose one of them , it has to be the taboo thing so far for me. I hope that works. And anyways, Middletown isnt my types. I like being in a big city and where I can roam around. I hate to be confined or locked within the apartment on the weekends.
6:50 PM
Next weekend, its going to be a movie visit and what better than the New Moon, the 2nd sequel to Twilight :)
6:58 PM
One stage worked and the stuff I arranged worked.
I wonder how my life is so resembling to a One day game with so much of uncertainity. May be this is due to the return of the ambitions. May be this is bcos I want to have my life going to full throttle again. Whatever it is, this is a bit of baffling one. I am trying to gain some peace out here. I m trying to live some days with planning done, but sometimes this doesnt work . In fact it doesnt work. I know I m here after long wait. I dont want to lose this chance.
7:05 PM
It seems that the install would end by 8 PM.
When you get to a new relationship, you tend to compare the new one to the patterns in the old one. Quite unfair and quite bad. I am doing the same thing. I am going back to the 2006 days to match the patterns. In fact there are no repeats of patterns. There is no night calls, no pampering, no sweet nothings and there is no dovey talk. It has to wait. Last time I jumped the gun the very first day. I got a message from her and I talked on sms whole night. And the intensity followed for next 5 months and then for next 5, it tool a huge nosedive and it cracked. Not wanting to go the same way. So being very cautious. Haule Haule.
7:30 PM
My app got installed successfully. And my part would be tested over the weekend. This is a blow to my detractors back in India. Middle fingers to them. Get off, its my moment.
Alright this is live blogging during the implementation. That is my project going into the production. Thats my 4th such occasion. 3 being in IBM 5 years back :)
5:10 PM
The omens were not very good. Was subdued. And then I lost 5 $ in the vending machine where I went to get the choclates and drinks stuff for me. It was going to be a 6 hour stay here in the office. But now I lost 5 $. 230 Rs.
If I am able to get through next month and half without any issue and escalations I d be doing a great job. When I came here people back home in the DC were apprehensive when I came here about the feedback I had for the past project and the stuff you see here on the blog a post before this. One good completion of this project would mean that a lot of bad stuff about me would be flushed off. May be I m too touchy about it.
5:20 PM
Just ordered a Grinder. Its kinda sandwich. I hate pizzas from here. Dominos and Pizza Hut taste makes me forget all other flavors. Yesterday went to one such outing and had veg pizzas. Damn I hate veg pizzas. Yeah right, since the days of Spicy Indian Veg. That has a karmic connection with me. I hate it. I cant have non veg stuff out here as my room mate is a pure veggie. And so I cant be anybody else.
I havent mixed much with the team here or with the people (desis) in the 'society / apartments' I live. I have been working most of the time and if nt, then have been hooked to the net. So havent got much time to mix n glue.
6:44 PM
2nd consecutive day I m having a Pizza in the dinner and right now its in the office. Grinder didnt come. Bianca did and it thankfully had some chicken pieces in it. So the taste resembled my fav BBQ Chicken from Dominos back in India. Wasnt spicy but was the best in 3 months here.
6 : 15 PM
Prod install is going on fine. Minor glitches here and there. My big day would be the weekend when my piece of code would be tested. So I hope it doesnt break.
6: 30 PM
My assignment ends on Dec 31, 2009. So either its back to India which I dont want to go now for long or its a change of location here itself. And with the big day approaching, I am in a flux. Both things are very close to me and both things matter. If I have to chose one of them , it has to be the taboo thing so far for me. I hope that works. And anyways, Middletown isnt my types. I like being in a big city and where I can roam around. I hate to be confined or locked within the apartment on the weekends.
6:50 PM
Next weekend, its going to be a movie visit and what better than the New Moon, the 2nd sequel to Twilight :)
6:58 PM
One stage worked and the stuff I arranged worked.
I wonder how my life is so resembling to a One day game with so much of uncertainity. May be this is due to the return of the ambitions. May be this is bcos I want to have my life going to full throttle again. Whatever it is, this is a bit of baffling one. I am trying to gain some peace out here. I m trying to live some days with planning done, but sometimes this doesnt work . In fact it doesnt work. I know I m here after long wait. I dont want to lose this chance.
7:05 PM
It seems that the install would end by 8 PM.
When you get to a new relationship, you tend to compare the new one to the patterns in the old one. Quite unfair and quite bad. I am doing the same thing. I am going back to the 2006 days to match the patterns. In fact there are no repeats of patterns. There is no night calls, no pampering, no sweet nothings and there is no dovey talk. It has to wait. Last time I jumped the gun the very first day. I got a message from her and I talked on sms whole night. And the intensity followed for next 5 months and then for next 5, it tool a huge nosedive and it cracked. Not wanting to go the same way. So being very cautious. Haule Haule.
7:30 PM
My app got installed successfully. And my part would be tested over the weekend. This is a blow to my detractors back in India. Middle fingers to them. Get off, its my moment.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Aa laut ke aaja mere bloggie, tujhe mere post bulate hai.
My long time blog friends are in a snooze mode. Ah no, the doze mode. You'd find 11 blogs in the blogroll out here and around 50 in my google reader. 6 of the 11 have their last posts 'x' weeks / months ago. And out of those 50 subscriptions, 30 odd have their post last published a fortnight back.
Wassup guys ?
And yes gals too ?
Everybody stalked by Dubai - Russia duo ? Guess they are like Victoria and James (vampire couple of Twilight). They go everywhere together. The third one, Laurent, lol is missing. May be chased by Jake and company (Embry, Quilt , not me but Sam) as in New Moon :P
The oldies like Sneha, Swetha, Vyshu, Nikhil, Pallav, Arun are missing or have vanished. PJ fakes exams whenever she has to disappear. I am sure she doesnt even study in the college. She is not even 18. She is a kid. Mysterious gal's stories and posts are thing of yore sadly. Butterfly thoughts do come once in a while and my fellow Pune blogger is pissed off her office. Cmon.
Only active bloggers are D, H and R. Dhanya, Harshita and Ria. And yes PJ too whenever she is bored of faking exams and those stupid You Tube songs (some real nasty films like Dil Hai ki Manta Nahi or Sajan or Sajan Chale Sasural) on Facebook, she posts.
Me ? I post and then I delete. Nervous 190s. Stuck forever in 190s.
Ria, you wrote a similar post on your blog. I agree with your dilemma. Its like singing the song "Jane kaha gaye wo din".
I am thinking that I should marry on Valentine's day. Two reasons to celebrate. One as anniversary and one as a Valentine's day. One pe one free, Lol.
Yeah I'd marry on Valentine's day. Deal done.
I heard that Pune and Mumbai along with apana Indore had very heavy rains owing to the storm with a name. Thank God, it passed off without much damage.
Tufan ka naam bhi hota hai. Sahi he.
BTW does anybody of you like dogs ? Anybody ?
Wassup guys ?
And yes gals too ?
Everybody stalked by Dubai - Russia duo ? Guess they are like Victoria and James (vampire couple of Twilight). They go everywhere together. The third one, Laurent, lol is missing. May be chased by Jake and company (Embry, Quilt , not me but Sam) as in New Moon :P
The oldies like Sneha, Swetha, Vyshu, Nikhil, Pallav, Arun are missing or have vanished. PJ fakes exams whenever she has to disappear. I am sure she doesnt even study in the college. She is not even 18. She is a kid. Mysterious gal's stories and posts are thing of yore sadly. Butterfly thoughts do come once in a while and my fellow Pune blogger is pissed off her office. Cmon.
Only active bloggers are D, H and R. Dhanya, Harshita and Ria. And yes PJ too whenever she is bored of faking exams and those stupid You Tube songs (some real nasty films like Dil Hai ki Manta Nahi or Sajan or Sajan Chale Sasural) on Facebook, she posts.
Me ? I post and then I delete. Nervous 190s. Stuck forever in 190s.
Ria, you wrote a similar post on your blog. I agree with your dilemma. Its like singing the song "Jane kaha gaye wo din".
I am thinking that I should marry on Valentine's day. Two reasons to celebrate. One as anniversary and one as a Valentine's day. One pe one free, Lol.
Yeah I'd marry on Valentine's day. Deal done.
I heard that Pune and Mumbai along with apana Indore had very heavy rains owing to the storm with a name. Thank God, it passed off without much damage.
Tufan ka naam bhi hota hai. Sahi he.
BTW does anybody of you like dogs ? Anybody ?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Realizing Freedom
Here are the few excerpts when I longed for freedom. Here are the few words when I was clutched in the silhouettes of self pity and depression all around. The age when I begged Lord Almighty of some good moments which were so rare those days.
“What does freedom mean to you ? Riddance of the negative aspects of your life? End of the times which eat you ? End of the tendencies which threaten your existence and yet you can’t find power to cut free ? What is freedom? Is it just walking free ? Or is it also having something more to it? What is that constitutes freedom? For me its riddance of those tendencies which threatened my existence, which made me felt irrelevant in the entire setup, the intense eyes which mocked me and said dude you aint needed anymore here. But you still couldn’t have done anything to change the situation, cos you were stuck in it. You wished a lot of things, but couldn’t fulfill them cos you were not supposed to. You were afraid of the consequences, you had all the negative thoughts in your mind and you feared stepping out of the jail would mean your life would be screwed . that to me is like ending up your life. Confining yourself to the limits of irrelevant existence is sinful.
Giving up to the tendencies which bereft you of your own life is sinful. I did that sin for last 4 and half months. I allowed myself to be prisoned to such tendencies and as a result today I find myself in soup. I walk out today out of the jail I have been saying all this days. “
And then this when I stayed in the office for days together without even going home:
“Sitting right out here in the office with just 3 hours sleep in last 48 hours, I am wondering how come I got this much of stamina and endurance to stand all the s hit of the world. I just wish that this phase of life ends soon. If not soon, then right now. I have been taking all in my system. And this is at a stage where I don’t react to anything. Just plain execution of whatever I am asked to do or want to do. I can’t believe this form of myself. It’s been 2 weeks now that I last rode my bike. A month now that I went to a movie and it’s been 3 weeks that I stepped out of the University circle area in Pune. All roads lead to the office and it’s like spending a lifetime here. I don’t like to crib. I don’t know whats going on in the life. Things have been so crazy that if I discuss a point with my mgr or anybody else and I differ on that point, then I m being taken as aggressive, unprofessional and negative influence in the team. How ridiculous is that? This is just not ending. Good things end soon and bad things linger on forever.
I have been going for sleep right now in the office. Its 430 AM in the office.
And then I slept for few hours and couldn’t continue. When I woke up, I lost the train of the thoughts.
I even compared my situation then to being prisoned for life or stuck up in a bad marriage:
“It’s like an ordeal. It’s like being jailed for life. It’s worse than a lifetime of bad marriage. Bad marriage still has an end to it. But this thing doesn’t seem to have an end. It’s like being stuck in a dark deep hole with all exits sealed forever. It’s like being midst of a terror attack where the artillery and the ammunition of the terrorists is never ending and you have to run for cover. But you are like the captain of the ship who cannot go for a hiding, someone like who has to bite the bullets, eat them, yet put up a brave face, take the humiliation in the stride, pose a geeeeeeeeeee in front of everybody. You gotta take the bullet wounds, be bruised and hurt. Deep down the soul is hurt, the feeling is just beyond words. It’s like being in a pit with full of hit. There seems no end of the road for this tunnel. There seems no end for this. I have no more analogies to depict this. And the person in the above situation stuck is me. And even more striking is the similarity with the dates ditto last year. Same to same. I wonder how precisely the history repeats itself. And to this precision for me has left me shocked. And when I am shocked, I go numb and freeze. A chilling feeling grips me and I go cold in temperature. Eyes remain wide open and it’s like somebody says me statue. Numb unmoved with iota and tones of pain. “
And then one day when my feelings choked and I halted in the life for few seconds growing spicy red with the infinitum amount of self inflicted and others’ imposed pain:
“Flustered, a storm within. Unable to get that out of my system. Choked. Flurry of feelings and thoughts in my mind right now. What the heck. Why me ? I live a pretty okish life. Centric around me and my people. Yet weirdo things happen. And I take them quietly. Silently. I wanna take it out. Don’t be judgmental when you read this. I have a right to get the weird feelings out of my system. I say NO to blog woes. I say NO to relationship woes. I will have them in my way. My way isn’t a tardier one. It’s what has evolved over the years despite the blips and misses.
I say NO to whatever doesn’t suit me. I dismiss the predictions about me. I dismiss the stereotypes formed about me. I dismiss ill notions formed about me. I have penchant for good life. And at any cost I shall get it. If I have to believe him, my life is worthless and maybe I should stop living it. Nobody managed to give that impression to me in my life thus far, what he gave me in a half hour. So what do I do ? End my life or what ? Get off. I won’t. I would live it even more harder and the way I want. I would prove him wrong. C’mon man. C’mon hit me. I would show you what I am. All aspects of your life are screwed up man. Oh really. Oh man, you sound such a loser. Big loser. Sitting in an cramped space with all the dirt of the world around you, you seem to be a frustrated man. You aint making any big in the life you live. You aint making any major thing in your life. You are a hole with *(%%(^**&%*&%. It’s a outburst. Not totally. But good part of it what I expect. Have to take it out. So I did. I can’t stop people who read this being judgmental about me, but then I would like to say don’t be. That’s my space and I gotta right to be happy or moody or whatever damn I feel I am to be.”
This words scare me out when they remain within me. I had to take them out and when they would be out on the WL, the place where the members express themselves with no inhibition, I would feel liberated in true sense of literature meaning or even more than that. Imagine a bird who flies out of the cage after being ages into it. Stumbling but yet flying high. More than the ability to fly, the wanting to fly, the wish to fly. Right now I feel like the same bird. I am not a pessimist nor a sadist. Just highlighting my thoughts with myself during those dark days.
Starting soon I'd put America Musings comprising of my inputs on relationships and other spicy stuff.
I was about to write thanks here. Lol. Office me 10 mails dalta hu to end me thanks likhta hu.
“What does freedom mean to you ? Riddance of the negative aspects of your life? End of the times which eat you ? End of the tendencies which threaten your existence and yet you can’t find power to cut free ? What is freedom? Is it just walking free ? Or is it also having something more to it? What is that constitutes freedom? For me its riddance of those tendencies which threatened my existence, which made me felt irrelevant in the entire setup, the intense eyes which mocked me and said dude you aint needed anymore here. But you still couldn’t have done anything to change the situation, cos you were stuck in it. You wished a lot of things, but couldn’t fulfill them cos you were not supposed to. You were afraid of the consequences, you had all the negative thoughts in your mind and you feared stepping out of the jail would mean your life would be screwed . that to me is like ending up your life. Confining yourself to the limits of irrelevant existence is sinful.
Giving up to the tendencies which bereft you of your own life is sinful. I did that sin for last 4 and half months. I allowed myself to be prisoned to such tendencies and as a result today I find myself in soup. I walk out today out of the jail I have been saying all this days. “
And then this when I stayed in the office for days together without even going home:
“Sitting right out here in the office with just 3 hours sleep in last 48 hours, I am wondering how come I got this much of stamina and endurance to stand all the s hit of the world. I just wish that this phase of life ends soon. If not soon, then right now. I have been taking all in my system. And this is at a stage where I don’t react to anything. Just plain execution of whatever I am asked to do or want to do. I can’t believe this form of myself. It’s been 2 weeks now that I last rode my bike. A month now that I went to a movie and it’s been 3 weeks that I stepped out of the University circle area in Pune. All roads lead to the office and it’s like spending a lifetime here. I don’t like to crib. I don’t know whats going on in the life. Things have been so crazy that if I discuss a point with my mgr or anybody else and I differ on that point, then I m being taken as aggressive, unprofessional and negative influence in the team. How ridiculous is that? This is just not ending. Good things end soon and bad things linger on forever.
I have been going for sleep right now in the office. Its 430 AM in the office.
And then I slept for few hours and couldn’t continue. When I woke up, I lost the train of the thoughts.
I even compared my situation then to being prisoned for life or stuck up in a bad marriage:
“It’s like an ordeal. It’s like being jailed for life. It’s worse than a lifetime of bad marriage. Bad marriage still has an end to it. But this thing doesn’t seem to have an end. It’s like being stuck in a dark deep hole with all exits sealed forever. It’s like being midst of a terror attack where the artillery and the ammunition of the terrorists is never ending and you have to run for cover. But you are like the captain of the ship who cannot go for a hiding, someone like who has to bite the bullets, eat them, yet put up a brave face, take the humiliation in the stride, pose a geeeeeeeeeee in front of everybody. You gotta take the bullet wounds, be bruised and hurt. Deep down the soul is hurt, the feeling is just beyond words. It’s like being in a pit with full of hit. There seems no end of the road for this tunnel. There seems no end for this. I have no more analogies to depict this. And the person in the above situation stuck is me. And even more striking is the similarity with the dates ditto last year. Same to same. I wonder how precisely the history repeats itself. And to this precision for me has left me shocked. And when I am shocked, I go numb and freeze. A chilling feeling grips me and I go cold in temperature. Eyes remain wide open and it’s like somebody says me statue. Numb unmoved with iota and tones of pain. “
And then one day when my feelings choked and I halted in the life for few seconds growing spicy red with the infinitum amount of self inflicted and others’ imposed pain:
“Flustered, a storm within. Unable to get that out of my system. Choked. Flurry of feelings and thoughts in my mind right now. What the heck. Why me ? I live a pretty okish life. Centric around me and my people. Yet weirdo things happen. And I take them quietly. Silently. I wanna take it out. Don’t be judgmental when you read this. I have a right to get the weird feelings out of my system. I say NO to blog woes. I say NO to relationship woes. I will have them in my way. My way isn’t a tardier one. It’s what has evolved over the years despite the blips and misses.
I say NO to whatever doesn’t suit me. I dismiss the predictions about me. I dismiss the stereotypes formed about me. I dismiss ill notions formed about me. I have penchant for good life. And at any cost I shall get it. If I have to believe him, my life is worthless and maybe I should stop living it. Nobody managed to give that impression to me in my life thus far, what he gave me in a half hour. So what do I do ? End my life or what ? Get off. I won’t. I would live it even more harder and the way I want. I would prove him wrong. C’mon man. C’mon hit me. I would show you what I am. All aspects of your life are screwed up man. Oh really. Oh man, you sound such a loser. Big loser. Sitting in an cramped space with all the dirt of the world around you, you seem to be a frustrated man. You aint making any big in the life you live. You aint making any major thing in your life. You are a hole with *(%%(^**&%*&%. It’s a outburst. Not totally. But good part of it what I expect. Have to take it out. So I did. I can’t stop people who read this being judgmental about me, but then I would like to say don’t be. That’s my space and I gotta right to be happy or moody or whatever damn I feel I am to be.”
This words scare me out when they remain within me. I had to take them out and when they would be out on the WL, the place where the members express themselves with no inhibition, I would feel liberated in true sense of literature meaning or even more than that. Imagine a bird who flies out of the cage after being ages into it. Stumbling but yet flying high. More than the ability to fly, the wanting to fly, the wish to fly. Right now I feel like the same bird. I am not a pessimist nor a sadist. Just highlighting my thoughts with myself during those dark days.
Starting soon I'd put America Musings comprising of my inputs on relationships and other spicy stuff.
I was about to write thanks here. Lol. Office me 10 mails dalta hu to end me thanks likhta hu.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Rang De Basanti with Her
RDB. Rang De Basanti. Winters of 2006. Onset of 2006. Event ful times.
Newly in love. Single lane wala nahi. Double lane wala. Intense and Surreal. Nice times of life. Yeah it turned horrific bad later that year. But then Jan 2006 was awesome.
Not cos of her, but bcos of me. I felt good. You see that within feeling. That governs me most of the time. Many times for nothing you feel not good within and few times you feel great within without nothing. So that way.
Movies as you must be knowing now, are my passion. Weekend movies were regular untill 2009 Aug. So 2006 was one such time when I had somebody to partner me to movies. She wasnt very fond of movies, but then I was.
I pitched in hard to get her for the movie. 25 Jan, the movie released and she had left for her hometown, which was in villages of MP. Lol.
Somewhere around timarni or gawli palasia.
So I reached movie Rang De Basanti with her. Of course she had her cousins' family as 'protective cover'. But I was firm that I d sneak a chance to hold her hand or even steal a peck. Who sees in the dark. And cousin sahab had a kid, you now get the picture.
For half hr of the first ha;f the girl sat besides her bhabhi and I had to tolerate her boring cousin. EEEEEEW.
And then after first hour. Boy. She came near me. And for the rest of the movie I didnt leave her hand. Even in interval she asked me to leave her hand as her cousin would see. I didnt budge. He was married and was expected to understand.
I enjoyed the first movie with her. And the only movie I enjoyed with her. Lol.
Todat morning I heard songs of RDB, so those days revoked memories :). Dangerous thing now.
Newly in love. Single lane wala nahi. Double lane wala. Intense and Surreal. Nice times of life. Yeah it turned horrific bad later that year. But then Jan 2006 was awesome.
Not cos of her, but bcos of me. I felt good. You see that within feeling. That governs me most of the time. Many times for nothing you feel not good within and few times you feel great within without nothing. So that way.
Movies as you must be knowing now, are my passion. Weekend movies were regular untill 2009 Aug. So 2006 was one such time when I had somebody to partner me to movies. She wasnt very fond of movies, but then I was.
I pitched in hard to get her for the movie. 25 Jan, the movie released and she had left for her hometown, which was in villages of MP. Lol.
Somewhere around timarni or gawli palasia.
So I reached movie Rang De Basanti with her. Of course she had her cousins' family as 'protective cover'. But I was firm that I d sneak a chance to hold her hand or even steal a peck. Who sees in the dark. And cousin sahab had a kid, you now get the picture.
For half hr of the first ha;f the girl sat besides her bhabhi and I had to tolerate her boring cousin. EEEEEEW.
And then after first hour. Boy. She came near me. And for the rest of the movie I didnt leave her hand. Even in interval she asked me to leave her hand as her cousin would see. I didnt budge. He was married and was expected to understand.
I enjoyed the first movie with her. And the only movie I enjoyed with her. Lol.
Todat morning I heard songs of RDB, so those days revoked memories :). Dangerous thing now.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
First Valentine together
Valentine day first after they decided to marry. He had magic of words. She had got a beautiful timex pocket watch for him. He had got a huge greeting card for her. And he gave her the card embibed with his message for her. Something that'd bring any girl on knees. Except her of course.
She gave him the pocket watch and he hugged her.
They went to Garden Court for dinner. It was packed but they waited.
Half an hr wait and they had the dinner. She was quiet. The silence killed him. He tried pampering her, but it didnt work. She went silent and more he got baffled.
When they returned back, they had a fight. He had came to pick her n drop back. She kept crying, he kept yelling. She had spoild his first valentine.
3 days later he came to know her periods had begun.
!!
She gave him the pocket watch and he hugged her.
They went to Garden Court for dinner. It was packed but they waited.
Half an hr wait and they had the dinner. She was quiet. The silence killed him. He tried pampering her, but it didnt work. She went silent and more he got baffled.
When they returned back, they had a fight. He had came to pick her n drop back. She kept crying, he kept yelling. She had spoild his first valentine.
3 days later he came to know her periods had begun.
!!
First Valentine together
Valentine day first after they decided to marry. He had magic of words. She had got a beautiful timex pocket watch for him. He had got a huge greeting card for her. And he gave her the card embibed with his message for her. Something that'd bring any girl on knees. Except her of course.
She gave him the pocket watch and he hugged her.
They went to Garden Court for dinner. It was packed but they waited.
Half an hr wait and they had the dinner. She was quiet. The silence killed him. He tried pampering her, but it didnt work. She went silent and more he got baffled.
When they returned back, they had a fight. He had came to pick her n drop back. She kept crying, he kept yelling. She had spoild his first valentine.
3 days later he came to know her periods had begun.
!!
She gave him the pocket watch and he hugged her.
They went to Garden Court for dinner. It was packed but they waited.
Half an hr wait and they had the dinner. She was quiet. The silence killed him. He tried pampering her, but it didnt work. She went silent and more he got baffled.
When they returned back, they had a fight. He had came to pick her n drop back. She kept crying, he kept yelling. She had spoild his first valentine.
3 days later he came to know her periods had begun.
!!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Hum Tum
Watching the scene of Hum Tum when Saif rues loss of Rani always reminds me of my initial days in Pune. Those were strange days. Young, exciting and ready to fall for anybody. Ready to flirt with anybody. I had even finalized one in my then company and nick named her 'Tum' and needless to say I was 'Hum'.
That was a time when I was totally unaware of whats going to come in next 4 years :)
Hum Tum takes me into a different plane :). East Street, Camp, MG Road, my old bike and the flat along with Inox movies every weekend :). Pune was great those days.
Relating movies to some time period in your life and then recalling those times when you watch those movies is just great.
That was a time when I was totally unaware of whats going to come in next 4 years :)
Hum Tum takes me into a different plane :). East Street, Camp, MG Road, my old bike and the flat along with Inox movies every weekend :). Pune was great those days.
Relating movies to some time period in your life and then recalling those times when you watch those movies is just great.
Hum Tum
Watching the scene of Hum Tum when Saif rues loss of Rani always reminds me of my initial days in Pune. Those were strange days. Young, exciting and ready to fall for anybody. Ready to flirt with anybody. I had even finalized one in my then company and nick named her 'Tum' and needless to say I was 'Hum'.
That was a time when I was totally unaware of whats going to come in next 4 years :)
Hum Tum takes me into a different plane :). East Street, Camp, MG Road, my old bike and the flat along with Inox movies every weekend :). Pune was great those days.
Relating movies to some time period in your life and then recalling those times when you watch those movies is just great.
That was a time when I was totally unaware of whats going to come in next 4 years :)
Hum Tum takes me into a different plane :). East Street, Camp, MG Road, my old bike and the flat along with Inox movies every weekend :). Pune was great those days.
Relating movies to some time period in your life and then recalling those times when you watch those movies is just great.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday Notes
My assignment got extended by a month here. Officially I would now travel back home on 31st december 2009. Unofficially my assignment would end when I would want to.
There is a production release coming up next week and it would be a night out. i have done night outs in India last year. A night out in US would be an unique experience for me. 8 more days without an issue or an escalation on me would mean my first objective of coming here would be done. For a start, the objective was to have a remarked change in the approach to the work and have no escalations. Touchwood.
This would also wipe off my previous sins as informed by Rash and Bharsu Timma.
I piss off while driving the rental over the weekend when my 'partner in rental' instructed on lights (signals), turns, stops and freeways. Cmon I have got 9 years of driving experience for a Korr and she has not even 9 weeks. Except rules, I m comfortable driving here. I kept my patience high before I thought I would blast her off. Fortunately my patience didnt explode.
I was being hooked to her by my roomie. I mean cmon. I have got a standard. She has been in US for 2 years now. But she doesnt carry herself well. She carries a torn Infosys bag every day to the office. Cant she spend 20 bucks to buy a good bag ? She is always free devoid of work. And I work like mad, she pings when I m sharing my screen with the client asking can we go for a cofffee. I close her window and then she gets mad at me why did I do that.
She has very little workload and she most of the times gossips with people around her. Something I dont do and wont do in the office. I have come here to work and not gossip. I gave her indirect messages that I m not keen to be too friendly with her. But she doesnt get that. She's got 100 friends here as she says and then she scoffs at me that I havent even got 10. I replied back, I believe in friendship's length and not the size. 5 friends and for life would matter more to me than 50 friends for say 4 months.
Apna apna perspective. Plus she lacks maturity. She doesnt like reading books. When I said i m an avid reader, she scoffed and had sarcasm in her tone. She doesnt like what I like. And plus she always walks around with her hair in a mess. And i detest that. This is not India or a small village. At least you got to keep yourself in a good decent shape.
I shaved off my hair in Sep and I got them back in late Oct but in a very bad shape. I got them fixed yesterday. Boy what a lady she was who did the hair cut. Amazing looks...... Brown eyes made me immerse in her thoughts for the time I was in the salon.
Alright I stop.
Later Alligator.
There is a production release coming up next week and it would be a night out. i have done night outs in India last year. A night out in US would be an unique experience for me. 8 more days without an issue or an escalation on me would mean my first objective of coming here would be done. For a start, the objective was to have a remarked change in the approach to the work and have no escalations. Touchwood.
This would also wipe off my previous sins as informed by Rash and Bharsu Timma.
I piss off while driving the rental over the weekend when my 'partner in rental' instructed on lights (signals), turns, stops and freeways. Cmon I have got 9 years of driving experience for a Korr and she has not even 9 weeks. Except rules, I m comfortable driving here. I kept my patience high before I thought I would blast her off. Fortunately my patience didnt explode.
I was being hooked to her by my roomie. I mean cmon. I have got a standard. She has been in US for 2 years now. But she doesnt carry herself well. She carries a torn Infosys bag every day to the office. Cant she spend 20 bucks to buy a good bag ? She is always free devoid of work. And I work like mad, she pings when I m sharing my screen with the client asking can we go for a cofffee. I close her window and then she gets mad at me why did I do that.
She has very little workload and she most of the times gossips with people around her. Something I dont do and wont do in the office. I have come here to work and not gossip. I gave her indirect messages that I m not keen to be too friendly with her. But she doesnt get that. She's got 100 friends here as she says and then she scoffs at me that I havent even got 10. I replied back, I believe in friendship's length and not the size. 5 friends and for life would matter more to me than 50 friends for say 4 months.
Apna apna perspective. Plus she lacks maturity. She doesnt like reading books. When I said i m an avid reader, she scoffed and had sarcasm in her tone. She doesnt like what I like. And plus she always walks around with her hair in a mess. And i detest that. This is not India or a small village. At least you got to keep yourself in a good decent shape.
I shaved off my hair in Sep and I got them back in late Oct but in a very bad shape. I got them fixed yesterday. Boy what a lady she was who did the hair cut. Amazing looks...... Brown eyes made me immerse in her thoughts for the time I was in the salon.
Alright I stop.
Later Alligator.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Caution
The previous instance of the relationship had shaked him up to the core. Precisely to the reason he was cautious and grounded this time when the news came to him that he is going to marry somebody. He did not look for those usual set of questions which he always looked for finding if he had compatibility with the partner to be. He did not even look for any other factor. He just spoke once and took a chance.
A risk he hopes and he expects to come true this time. This point of time is the time when he has to get it right. He has to have his relationship successful this time. He believes that love is going to take a lot of time and evolving would be the key.
A risk he hopes and he expects to come true this time. This point of time is the time when he has to get it right. He has to have his relationship successful this time. He believes that love is going to take a lot of time and evolving would be the key.
Caution
The previous instance of the relationship had shaked him up to the core. Precisely to the reason he was cautious and grounded this time when the news came to him that he is going to marry somebody. He did not look for those usual set of questions which he always looked for finding if he had compatibility with the partner to be. He did not even look for any other factor. He just spoke once and took a chance.
A risk he hopes and he expects to come true this time. This point of time is the time when he has to get it right. He has to have his relationship successful this time. He believes that love is going to take a lot of time and evolving would be the key.
A risk he hopes and he expects to come true this time. This point of time is the time when he has to get it right. He has to have his relationship successful this time. He believes that love is going to take a lot of time and evolving would be the key.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
No 194
Its not fair to expect that the other person should respond you with the same words -- same intensity and same number of words, with which you send her the wishes. Well not everyone can write the words and the expressions the same way as you do. Right. This is but natural.
I drove a 2009 Nissan Sentra today for about 25 miles for 3 hours. And I concluded one thing that I am good driver even in US. 9 years of driving experience in India.
And yes I got an elusive pair of floaters which I didnot have in US. While coming to US from India, I had to pull off my Indian floaters due to the excess weight of the baggage. Yeah en trip to the hell on the earth -- Dubai. Worst airport and even worse attitude of the people out there.
5 people commented on my first post on this blog. Out of those 5 3 are still readers of this blog, 2 have left.
A tribute to those three :
1. PJ whom I scared away today
2. Harshita
3. Ria
Dil Chahta Hai evokes my great memories with 4 of us. We 4 great friends since college days
I drove a 2009 Nissan Sentra today for about 25 miles for 3 hours. And I concluded one thing that I am good driver even in US. 9 years of driving experience in India.
And yes I got an elusive pair of floaters which I didnot have in US. While coming to US from India, I had to pull off my Indian floaters due to the excess weight of the baggage. Yeah en trip to the hell on the earth -- Dubai. Worst airport and even worse attitude of the people out there.
5 people commented on my first post on this blog. Out of those 5 3 are still readers of this blog, 2 have left.
A tribute to those three :
1. PJ whom I scared away today
2. Harshita
3. Ria
Dil Chahta Hai evokes my great memories with 4 of us. We 4 great friends since college days
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Haule Haule
The previous experiences have grounded me so much that I dont feel the excitement for anything anymore. I had waited so long for this moment which arrived on 10/26, but I was so cold. I took it just like another day. I didnt get excited, like I used to before. I was grounded. I didnt disclose to many around me.
I didnt disclose here. I have changed. I came to know this only this week. Work pressure and daily cranky calls with the crooked offshore made me so inert that i didnt feel that it was a birthday for somebody and for me too , its a special day.
2 years before I joined Infosys in Pune. Been a longest time for me in any company. Ups and downs. There is this guy Nitesh Thakur in my team, biggest loser. He is kind of character who would blow away everything like the client deadlines, tasks, reviews and work. If he feels he is right in any task then to hell with the team and other stuff. He would aruge to no end. And every day I have to spend 3 hours to plead him bhaiya kaam kar lo.
Go slow is the mantra this time around. No rush of the blood, no getting impatient and not being impulsive. Evolution is the key.
I dont believe this. I just cannot believe that I am in this phase where the scars of past would be gone and I'd be living a very normal life.
After today's birthday, its a birthday of my blog and then birthday of one of my special blogger friend.
I have started loving secrecy. I dont disclose any stuff of mine with any body. I am an enigma. I dont know how I started loving this aspect. Dont know how this aspect came to my life. I didnt want people to know happenings in my life n then make fun. Neither i wanted ppl to gossip my life. So its like keep a straight face every time in front of people and then hide your life.
Tomorrow its my 1st blog anniversary. First time ever I have lasted so long on any blog. Wish Razmatazz Lounge a very happy anniversary on the post tomorrow.
By the by its this song which is my mantra : Haule Haule ho jayega pyar baliye.
I didnt disclose here. I have changed. I came to know this only this week. Work pressure and daily cranky calls with the crooked offshore made me so inert that i didnt feel that it was a birthday for somebody and for me too , its a special day.
2 years before I joined Infosys in Pune. Been a longest time for me in any company. Ups and downs. There is this guy Nitesh Thakur in my team, biggest loser. He is kind of character who would blow away everything like the client deadlines, tasks, reviews and work. If he feels he is right in any task then to hell with the team and other stuff. He would aruge to no end. And every day I have to spend 3 hours to plead him bhaiya kaam kar lo.
Go slow is the mantra this time around. No rush of the blood, no getting impatient and not being impulsive. Evolution is the key.
I dont believe this. I just cannot believe that I am in this phase where the scars of past would be gone and I'd be living a very normal life.
After today's birthday, its a birthday of my blog and then birthday of one of my special blogger friend.
I have started loving secrecy. I dont disclose any stuff of mine with any body. I am an enigma. I dont know how I started loving this aspect. Dont know how this aspect came to my life. I didnt want people to know happenings in my life n then make fun. Neither i wanted ppl to gossip my life. So its like keep a straight face every time in front of people and then hide your life.
Tomorrow its my 1st blog anniversary. First time ever I have lasted so long on any blog. Wish Razmatazz Lounge a very happy anniversary on the post tomorrow.
By the by its this song which is my mantra : Haule Haule ho jayega pyar baliye.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Announcement
I waited for it, I bid time. I wrote on it and against it, I finally got it.
Some share of good news finally comes to my end as well.
And I m cautiously happy about it with feet firmly grounded and looking forth for every word written on this blog good on that fabulous thing coming true.
Wait for the disclosure;
Some share of good news finally comes to my end as well.
And I m cautiously happy about it with feet firmly grounded and looking forth for every word written on this blog good on that fabulous thing coming true.
Wait for the disclosure;
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Hmmmmm
Raina said "i love you"
Sameer said " i love you too. i m a bit more realistic than you raina. every marriage needs financial stability. without it every marriage is a disaster."
Raina was dumb stuck.
Sameer said " i love you too. i m a bit more realistic than you raina. every marriage needs financial stability. without it every marriage is a disaster."
Raina was dumb stuck.
Monday, October 19, 2009
KANK
His pain of the past was embibed in the music of KANK. Whenever the music played his hidden pain just bubbled up and all he could do was smile and have a huge grin.
The old scenes of the past replayed in the front of his eyes. Flashback.
Those painful days when life was different than now. His yearnings for her, she being indifferent to him, ignorant of his existence despite being in the same house.
Every scene and dialogue of KANK reminded him of his past. As if the movie was made for him. Just that the names were different, the soul of characters were same.
A whizzling amount of current ran through his body when he heard any music or dialogue from that movie. It was so etched deep in his senses and existence. Perhaps too deep.
Some corelations never fade out. Never ever. Just never.
The old scenes of the past replayed in the front of his eyes. Flashback.
Those painful days when life was different than now. His yearnings for her, she being indifferent to him, ignorant of his existence despite being in the same house.
Every scene and dialogue of KANK reminded him of his past. As if the movie was made for him. Just that the names were different, the soul of characters were same.
A whizzling amount of current ran through his body when he heard any music or dialogue from that movie. It was so etched deep in his senses and existence. Perhaps too deep.
Some corelations never fade out. Never ever. Just never.
KANK
His pain of the past was embibed in the music of KANK. Whenever the music played his hidden pain just bubbled up and all he could do was smile and have a huge grin.
The old scenes of the past replayed in the front of his eyes. Flashback.
Those painful days when life was different than now. His yearnings for her, she being indifferent to him, ignorant of his existence despite being in the same house.
Every scene and dialogue of KANK reminded him of his past. As if the movie was made for him. Just that the names were different, the soul of characters were same.
A whizzling amount of current ran through his body when he heard any music or dialogue from that movie. It was so etched deep in his senses and existence. Perhaps too deep.
Some corelations never fade out. Never ever. Just never.
The old scenes of the past replayed in the front of his eyes. Flashback.
Those painful days when life was different than now. His yearnings for her, she being indifferent to him, ignorant of his existence despite being in the same house.
Every scene and dialogue of KANK reminded him of his past. As if the movie was made for him. Just that the names were different, the soul of characters were same.
A whizzling amount of current ran through his body when he heard any music or dialogue from that movie. It was so etched deep in his senses and existence. Perhaps too deep.
Some corelations never fade out. Never ever. Just never.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Happy Diwali.
Wishing everybody a cheerful, prosperous and Happy Diwali....
Diwali aayi
Khushiyo ki saugat layi
Phatake, ladduo ki bahar aayi
Chumchum, sonpapdi ki fasal aayi
Diwali aayi diwali aayi
Pappu aur Pappi ke galo par lali chayi
Gujhiya, chakli ke sang khushiyo ki bahar aai
Lasan bam, fooljhadi, rassi bam pe baith champi aayi
Diwali aayi diwali aai
sabke dilo me khushiyo ki saugat lai
Harshi ke blog par UK jane ki baat aayi
PJ billi ka blog update hone da wait kar raha
Ria ka blog sabko diwali greetings de raha
Swetha ka blog bhoooom fatake phod raha
Kajal ka blog gusse se ubal raha
Butterfly blog anniversary ki yaado me khoya hua
Sweet addiction facebook par mafia war khel rahi
Ekam confused hai strangers and friends me.
Vyshu ki waapsi ka hum sab intezar kar rahe
Dhanya apne mother tounge ki mahima gaa rahi
J bhai yaha aakar khush ho rahe
Joie ka blog aise hi kuch kuch 56 dukan jaa raha
Ams ka blog breaking news dekar TI ghoom raha
Sneha ka blog wishes count kar raha
Arun bhai diary likh rahe blog par
Chakoli ka blog chipkalio ko bhagane kke baad cleaning kar raha
PJ ka blog kv ke yaado me khoya hua
Pallav ka blog regular hone ka wait kar raha
Chandler ka blog 1 saal hone ka planning kar raha
Ek saal pahle di poem likh raha and
Diwali aayi diwali aayi
Khushiyo ki saugaat layi
Indore di yaado me dil kho raaha
Phatako ki smell me naak mera sikud raha
America ki thand me baitha me diwali mana raha
Happy Diwali folks. Have a safe and happy Diwali and a prosperous year ahead. This poem appeared first on the blog a year back. Technically its also my first anniversary of Razmattazzz Lounge tomorrow (day after diwali). So a double treat.
Diwali aayi
Khushiyo ki saugat layi
Phatake, ladduo ki bahar aayi
Chumchum, sonpapdi ki fasal aayi
Diwali aayi diwali aayi
Pappu aur Pappi ke galo par lali chayi
Gujhiya, chakli ke sang khushiyo ki bahar aai
Lasan bam, fooljhadi, rassi bam pe baith champi aayi
Diwali aayi diwali aai
sabke dilo me khushiyo ki saugat lai
Harshi ke blog par UK jane ki baat aayi
PJ billi ka blog update hone da wait kar raha
Ria ka blog sabko diwali greetings de raha
Swetha ka blog bhoooom fatake phod raha
Kajal ka blog gusse se ubal raha
Butterfly blog anniversary ki yaado me khoya hua
Sweet addiction facebook par mafia war khel rahi
Ekam confused hai strangers and friends me.
Vyshu ki waapsi ka hum sab intezar kar rahe
Dhanya apne mother tounge ki mahima gaa rahi
J bhai yaha aakar khush ho rahe
Joie ka blog aise hi kuch kuch 56 dukan jaa raha
Ams ka blog breaking news dekar TI ghoom raha
Sneha ka blog wishes count kar raha
Arun bhai diary likh rahe blog par
Chakoli ka blog chipkalio ko bhagane kke baad cleaning kar raha
PJ ka blog kv ke yaado me khoya hua
Pallav ka blog regular hone ka wait kar raha
Chandler ka blog 1 saal hone ka planning kar raha
Ek saal pahle di poem likh raha and
Diwali aayi diwali aayi
Khushiyo ki saugaat layi
Indore di yaado me dil kho raaha
Phatako ki smell me naak mera sikud raha
America ki thand me baitha me diwali mana raha
Happy Diwali folks. Have a safe and happy Diwali and a prosperous year ahead. This poem appeared first on the blog a year back. Technically its also my first anniversary of Razmattazzz Lounge tomorrow (day after diwali). So a double treat.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Lost in the smell!!
Have you interrelated movies or songs with the phases of your life ? Good or bad ?
Jab we Met is an ultimate movie. Kareena Kapoor, my favorite, 's best film. Reminds me of Oct 2007.
And I cant forget her smell. Dunno what she applied, perfume or deo. But her body smell is itched in my memory. The moment I pass through somebody here or back home, I m reminded of her. That smell at least is itched in my existence.
Jab we Met is an ultimate movie. Kareena Kapoor, my favorite, 's best film. Reminds me of Oct 2007.
And I cant forget her smell. Dunno what she applied, perfume or deo. But her body smell is itched in my memory. The moment I pass through somebody here or back home, I m reminded of her. That smell at least is itched in my existence.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Things I miss
Its 15th October 2009 in India and right now 14th October 2009 in USA.
A day when I made 2 back to back calls for wishing people Happy Dubbays.
One of them was in London, England to my friend Vidz and then the second one was in Bangalore, India. My sister. Dhan Teras today and so its her bday.
Happy Dubbay girls :P
Right now m watching "A lot like Love" on my laptop and awaiting the call to start in 5 minutes time.
Lol.
2 things I miss.
1) Movies. My bestest time pass when in India and not in my home. There were days I spent time planning watching movies over the weekend and at times in week days too. Multiplexes offered me a great feeling. Only good aspect of Pune, I liked. Esp the E-Square and the Inox. There were days when I watched back to back movies on back to back days. That is 4 movies over the weekend.
Hardly any movie I left. Love Aaj Kal is the last movie i watched in a theater and Makiney is the last movie i watched.
2) Books. I have not read a single page of any book in 2 months here. I m missing Crossword. Book launches. I remember the visits to the crossword book stores in Senapati Bapat Road or Aundh or the ESquare one and monthly 3-4k were spent on books and movies cds.
I miss all of this here. I have got the New Moon and Eclipse -- 2nd and 3rd part of the Twilight series. I am waiting for the 4th book -- Breaking Dawn to be purchased.
I am also awaiting how I could buy the 2 states book of Chetan Bhagat. His 3rd book was a let down. His best work for me is the One night @ Call center. I feel myself related to the book.
I had read it first time in Nov 2005 when I went to Mumbai US consulate for B1 Visa stamping while with Wipro tech.
And then in subsequent visit in Dec 05 to USA I had finished the "5 Point someone" in the flights. Air India flights.
While at off s hore, I used to read all books in the bus trips to and from office to flat. New moon movie is slated to release on Nov 20, 2009 here in US. So thats being awaited right now.
A day when I made 2 back to back calls for wishing people Happy Dubbays.
One of them was in London, England to my friend Vidz and then the second one was in Bangalore, India. My sister. Dhan Teras today and so its her bday.
Happy Dubbay girls :P
Right now m watching "A lot like Love" on my laptop and awaiting the call to start in 5 minutes time.
Lol.
2 things I miss.
1) Movies. My bestest time pass when in India and not in my home. There were days I spent time planning watching movies over the weekend and at times in week days too. Multiplexes offered me a great feeling. Only good aspect of Pune, I liked. Esp the E-Square and the Inox. There were days when I watched back to back movies on back to back days. That is 4 movies over the weekend.
Hardly any movie I left. Love Aaj Kal is the last movie i watched in a theater and Makiney is the last movie i watched.
2) Books. I have not read a single page of any book in 2 months here. I m missing Crossword. Book launches. I remember the visits to the crossword book stores in Senapati Bapat Road or Aundh or the ESquare one and monthly 3-4k were spent on books and movies cds.
I miss all of this here. I have got the New Moon and Eclipse -- 2nd and 3rd part of the Twilight series. I am waiting for the 4th book -- Breaking Dawn to be purchased.
I am also awaiting how I could buy the 2 states book of Chetan Bhagat. His 3rd book was a let down. His best work for me is the One night @ Call center. I feel myself related to the book.
I had read it first time in Nov 2005 when I went to Mumbai US consulate for B1 Visa stamping while with Wipro tech.
And then in subsequent visit in Dec 05 to USA I had finished the "5 Point someone" in the flights. Air India flights.
While at off s hore, I used to read all books in the bus trips to and from office to flat. New moon movie is slated to release on Nov 20, 2009 here in US. So thats being awaited right now.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Only if you could.....
I need to get myself free from this. I ought to fight this out and overcome the current mess thanks to my wonderful Teddy bear who walked out of my life leaving a huge void, almost irreplaceable, to the best of my ability.
I lost in the love field. I lost to my own panache to carve out a wonderful world for me and her where nothing else would matter, but love for each other and all that crap things to pamper and shag ourselves, those crazy things to do to keep the painful passion alive. In the yearning of a perfect world around me, I was left with a rubble and ashes of my love gone wrong. I lost to my own craziness to keep in touch with her, thus invading her “private space” which I felt had overlapped with me and then there would be nothing called as individual space in our relationship once I and she were interwined with each other.
I lost in the love field. I lost to my own panache to carve out a wonderful world for me and her where nothing else would matter, but love for each other and all that crap things to pamper and shag ourselves, those crazy things to do to keep the painful passion alive. In the yearning of a perfect world around me, I was left with a rubble and ashes of my love gone wrong. I lost to my own craziness to keep in touch with her, thus invading her “private space” which I felt had overlapped with me and then there would be nothing called as individual space in our relationship once I and she were interwined with each other.
Only if you could.....
I need to get myself free from this. I ought to fight this out and overcome the current mess thanks to my wonderful Teddy bear who walked out of my life leaving a huge void, almost irreplaceable, to the best of my ability.
I lost in the love field. I lost to my own panache to carve out a wonderful world for me and her where nothing else would matter, but love for each other and all that crap things to pamper and shag ourselves, those crazy things to do to keep the painful passion alive. In the yearning of a perfect world around me, I was left with a rubble and ashes of my love gone wrong. I lost to my own craziness to keep in touch with her, thus invading her “private space” which I felt had overlapped with me and then there would be nothing called as individual space in our relationship once I and she were interwined with each other.
I lost in the love field. I lost to my own panache to carve out a wonderful world for me and her where nothing else would matter, but love for each other and all that crap things to pamper and shag ourselves, those crazy things to do to keep the painful passion alive. In the yearning of a perfect world around me, I was left with a rubble and ashes of my love gone wrong. I lost to my own craziness to keep in touch with her, thus invading her “private space” which I felt had overlapped with me and then there would be nothing called as individual space in our relationship once I and she were interwined with each other.
Livin without you.
Wasnt it passionate ? Wasn't it heart rendering ? Wasnt it overwhelming for you ? Wasnt it a moment when you and me (I dread using word we now) wished time paused and both could live in the audacity of the effervescent tender affection ?Yes I do relive those moments yet when I know there is no hope and when I know we are past each other. When I get extremely remorse and sadist remembering you, I relive those moments and just feel you besides me. Wonder how I would live on years without you when we had pledged there would be very few years that we would live without each other, but now most of the years we have to live without each other.
Livin without you.
Wasnt it passionate ? Wasn't it heart rendering ? Wasnt it overwhelming for you ? Wasnt it a moment when you and me (I dread using word we now) wished time paused and both could live in the audacity of the effervescent tender affection ?Yes I do relive those moments yet when I know there is no hope and when I know we are past each other. When I get extremely remorse and sadist remembering you, I relive those moments and just feel you besides me. Wonder how I would live on years without you when we had pledged there would be very few years that we would live without each other, but now most of the years we have to live without each other.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Gift on the pet bday and cattle class memorial
One question people ask me in every meet is "do u hv a pet". I say 'no I dont. And no plans either. Near future or ever".
This days having a pet is in thing.
And especially the day when you have your pet's dubbay.
When you wake up, you get a great gift. Boy. For this reason, I shall have pets if I get such gifts. Its another thing that you havent done that great stuff to deserve the gift. Alright, you are different, you own a mania, you are trying to bridge the gaps between your country and other parts of world, you win hearts all over, you harp the change but still are to bring that change. But on your pet's birthday you win a great gift.
Its not just about the pet. Its about cattle too. Now we know that in India cattle are as common as human beings, vehicles on the roads. They share the space on the roads with pride and honor with Indians. But one of our esteemed modern ministers find that offending and he "tweets" travelling cattle class. Result ? Media coins the term "India's greatest tweet". Damn. Whats so great in it ?
The man himself is an idiot and makes him sound like an idiot when he tweets some ridiculous stuff. He harps on being evicted out of the 5 star hotel on name of some cost cutting drive by Madam. He then goes back to twitter and tweets it. Sweets gets upset with the tweet and issues a so cas notice. This man could have been UN secreteary zeneral, but now he is a minister of state for foren affairs in government in India.
Cattle class made him noticed. Gandhi tweet made him insanely fool. Bhai, jab 62 years tak 10/2 is national holiday (one of 3) why does he want it to make it a working day ? And why only work on 10/2 ? His colleagues never work, be it 10/2 or 8/15 or 1/26. What about them ? Will he tweet them to work ?
And if you are rich or have any of your relative in government service please save good enough money to build memorial of yours. And if you come from a specific caste, region or religion or speak a particular language then dont offend others. You might need to apologize to their goons and surrender though walk free staring a hapless Pandu at the traffic signal.
I feel everybody in Pune should download the google maps on their cell phone so that they dont need to ask "the Bhamte Puneris" about the address and then get guided to wrong address. Outright funny. You go to a place in Pune and ask a normal looking common man " bhau ya address was kas jaicha" (How to go to this address"). The man would give you a cattle class look and say "m i a pet of yours or m i a maya tawi to tell u a address". Or he would laugh and say "go this , then there, here and there, yaha waha and then kaha". Only to end up at wrong address. Puneris find fun in this. Could you believe some of them even charge 10 Rs for every line of address telling.
Alright, the 3 individuals I spoke of :
This days having a pet is in thing.
And especially the day when you have your pet's dubbay.
When you wake up, you get a great gift. Boy. For this reason, I shall have pets if I get such gifts. Its another thing that you havent done that great stuff to deserve the gift. Alright, you are different, you own a mania, you are trying to bridge the gaps between your country and other parts of world, you win hearts all over, you harp the change but still are to bring that change. But on your pet's birthday you win a great gift.
Its not just about the pet. Its about cattle too. Now we know that in India cattle are as common as human beings, vehicles on the roads. They share the space on the roads with pride and honor with Indians. But one of our esteemed modern ministers find that offending and he "tweets" travelling cattle class. Result ? Media coins the term "India's greatest tweet". Damn. Whats so great in it ?
The man himself is an idiot and makes him sound like an idiot when he tweets some ridiculous stuff. He harps on being evicted out of the 5 star hotel on name of some cost cutting drive by Madam. He then goes back to twitter and tweets it. Sweets gets upset with the tweet and issues a so cas notice. This man could have been UN secreteary zeneral, but now he is a minister of state for foren affairs in government in India.
Cattle class made him noticed. Gandhi tweet made him insanely fool. Bhai, jab 62 years tak 10/2 is national holiday (one of 3) why does he want it to make it a working day ? And why only work on 10/2 ? His colleagues never work, be it 10/2 or 8/15 or 1/26. What about them ? Will he tweet them to work ?
And if you are rich or have any of your relative in government service please save good enough money to build memorial of yours. And if you come from a specific caste, region or religion or speak a particular language then dont offend others. You might need to apologize to their goons and surrender though walk free staring a hapless Pandu at the traffic signal.
I feel everybody in Pune should download the google maps on their cell phone so that they dont need to ask "the Bhamte Puneris" about the address and then get guided to wrong address. Outright funny. You go to a place in Pune and ask a normal looking common man " bhau ya address was kas jaicha" (How to go to this address"). The man would give you a cattle class look and say "m i a pet of yours or m i a maya tawi to tell u a address". Or he would laugh and say "go this , then there, here and there, yaha waha and then kaha". Only to end up at wrong address. Puneris find fun in this. Could you believe some of them even charge 10 Rs for every line of address telling.
Alright, the 3 individuals I spoke of :
- Barack Obama who won the peace prize today on his dog's bday.
- Shashi Thuroor who tweeted on the austerity drive of madam Gandhi.
- Chief Minister of a state and an abrasive character who is building her own statues in her own life time.
ENjoy the weekends guys.
Fuck you SM......
Past!!
Past comes back to haunt you anytime in most ridiculous fashion. When you least expect it, it hits you. This time it happened in terms of words and comments made about my not so fair past.
I would rather say just this that the supreme power sees all and hits you back later than never.
Fuck you SM.
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