Saturday, January 3, 2009

September 17, 1993


Award update :

My Free Spirited award this time for following bloggers :
  1. Ekta : Though i havent been commenting on her blog that regularly, but i have been reading her ever since i began blogging in April 2007....This one for you. Those days were my early days in blogging and I was quite inspired from your writing.....

  2. Yamini : Dil se posts.....Good poems and unadultered feelings.....

Enjoy the story with no sequel....

It was a rainy day and the water from skies lashed everything on the earth, the trees, the roads, the buildings, the pavements, everything. Even his tiny teenaged inner self was drenched with the thoughts of the new feeling he was having since last few moments.

It was something, which he never experienced before, something which was soothing for him and he was finding it difficult to keep his feet grounded. And besides his bicycle didn’t allow him to fly high with his new found feeling and the joy, he had just experienced.

Everything he saw amidst raining tiny droplets of silverish rain, he could see the beauty in them. The drops of rains that trickled down his body drenched him with the beauty of thoughts that suddenly aroused to some new heights.

He did not bother to know why he was so elated to have seen off an unknown classmate of him, who had never talked to him and neither did he bother to know who she was, all this years in the school, when they studied in the same section of class X.

All this years, he was never keen to go and talk to his female classmates, who were more than competitors for the top spot in the acads, rather than being friendly with them. But all this changed in a blink of the eye and the girl, who was just another classmate for him, just at the dawn of the day, had turned into something more for him. What that more was, he was yet to figure it out.

He had just entered into the age, which they called a rebellious age or more correctly a teenage. His thoughts were getting revolutionary and he was getting more and more aloof from his childhood friends and the body changes that occurred in him, that year made him a bit more vulnerable to the mood swings and overwhelmingly aggressive.

But he knew that this strange feeling was not in the rush of the hour, neither it was a lust or neither it was a attraction to the girl, who appeared to be the most prettiest in the world and someone who had just rocked him so hard, that it was unable to find himself on the earth. Way before, he was on the moon singing songs to the girl, gazing to the sky to figure out the stars, which were duly covered by the silver grey cloud cover, but this casted a magic spell on the boy.

He was a part of the 6 member team to represent his school in Inter School Science Exhibitions, where every team had to present a project in the expo in the 2 day event and demonstrate the set up to the entire audience, other school participants and of course the teachers. He was not a very good speaker, but he could write well, so he took up the job of writing the project report and some other girl took up the presentation part.

The school had limited resources to fund the project, so the guys decided to contribute to keep the momentum going and buy all the apparatus needed for the exhibition. This boy and his friend had wandered the other day in the search of elusive “Copper” amidst rains and little did he know that a couple of days later the rains would change his life upside down and he would be on a different plane altogether.

After all the preparations and practices, the team was ready the next day to go and deliver the goods. Every one wished luck to each other and promised to meet on time in the venue school, but there was a glitch. The girl M did not know bicycling with proficiency and she needed to get back home. So the friend of hers asked this boy to drop her home at least by bicycling around her amidst the traffic and ensure she reaches home safely. He obliged, unaware of what lied ahead.

Throughout the road, there was no talk between both of them and just a few eye gazes and silent whispers rode the entire journey. Finally the boy dropped M home and the only words exchanged were:

M said: “Thanks for dropping me home. See ya tomorrow”
He said: “My pleasure”

And he rode back with a whisker. And in the next moment, his world had changed. The innocent face of M along with curly hair coming down her forehead frequently with blowing wind had been imprinted on his soul and it was forever. The face didn’t leave his mind and when he reached home drenched in the rain he also knew that unknowingly and without any effort, he had fallen in love with M and it was this innocent feeling of love that made him a total different teenager than the rest and he was very happy to know this and experience this magical feeling called love.

The boy jumped and danced and kicked the hollow air in his abode and when he slept, he had colorful dreams rather than usual boring ones. He knew he would not be able to think anything but M and then he started thinking about the ways to kickstart the conversation with angelic beauty M and himself tomorrow in the venue, may be starting with introducing himself to her all over again. M rocked him and he was more than happy to just lie in the bed thinking about the face of M which he felt had divine light on it. The sleep and peace had long deserted him. Love and dreams were now his eternal companions.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Bindaas talks!!

Guess some -ve vibes about me going around in few blogs which has led to some reservations about my Razmattazz......Whatever it is, it indicates a ridiculous obsession feasting on juicy tidbits...

Awards are bit distracting....Lot of awards go on passing to lot many people. Quite funny to see that my own "Spirited Blogger" award is doing lot of rounds. Awards should not jeopardise the content of ur blog. Maintaining readerships is ok, but more than necessary awards are a no - no.

A few months back, May to be precise, i attempted a comeback to the blog after Aug 07 when my earlier saddist blog was hijacked by my ex. But this attempt didnt live more than a week cos some body had problem with me commenting on the blog which i dropped casually.

Whatever, i chickened out and left.....Few weeks later i was back and i cud see that bloggie was all over..

I have decided to be ruthless with nebody if i find myself or blog being defamed for no good reason. if anybody has problem with me talk, put it with me. I am not here to fake anything or win people by being over sweet or whatever its being called in blog slang....Teen log, teen. The ones who have been defaming me....Not one of those was ever / is on my blogroll.

I care a rat's ass about them. But if i find anything about me on the blog / orkut / forum, I would deal with it with iron - fists :)....

i would start marketing my blog soon......Razmattaaaz wala........Yup!!! making big as blogger is one of my key resolutions for 2009. Awards or no awards, it doesnt matter. Sheer quality of writing would make me BIG!!! Arrogance ? So be it..............

Bindaas talks!!

Guess some -ve vibes about me going around in few blogs which has led to some reservations about my Razmattazz......Whatever it is, it indicates a ridiculous obsession feasting on juicy tidbits...

Awards are bit distracting....Lot of awards go on passing to lot many people. Quite funny to see that my own "Spirited Blogger" award is doing lot of rounds. Awards should not jeopardise the content of ur blog. Maintaining readerships is ok, but more than necessary awards are a no - no.

A few months back, May to be precise, i attempted a comeback to the blog after Aug 07 when my earlier saddist blog was hijacked by my ex. But this attempt didnt live more than a week cos some body had problem with me commenting on the blog which i dropped casually.

Whatever, i chickened out and left.....Few weeks later i was back and i cud see that bloggie was all over..

I have decided to be ruthless with nebody if i find myself or blog being defamed for no good reason. if anybody has problem with me talk, put it with me. I am not here to fake anything or win people by being over sweet or whatever its being called in blog slang....Teen log, teen. The ones who have been defaming me....Not one of those was ever / is on my blogroll.

I care a rat's ass about them. But if i find anything about me on the blog / orkut / forum, I would deal with it with iron - fists :)....

i would start marketing my blog soon......Razmattaaaz wala........Yup!!! making big as blogger is one of my key resolutions for 2009. Awards or no awards, it doesnt matter. Sheer quality of writing would make me BIG!!! Arrogance ? So be it..............

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The year Gone BY....Alvida 2008, Welcome 2009


It was shifting today to the new apartment and it was quite hectic. Lot of planning, anticipations, shelling out notes of INR, contingency planning before I could shift without any major hassles.

2008 is out going. 2009 is incoming. World is vibrant, India is on the edge, volatile, scared and buzz of the impending war with the rowdy neighbor. Bloggerville is booming with breaks, heartbreaks, allegations of hurt and trust breach, fake ids and heart rendering awards.

2008 was a transition year for me. Interface to a new era which should herald in 2009 to the end of era in 2007 which lasted 3 good years. New avenues start, new hopes of fruitful life up ahead, optimism finding its way back in my life, in short a life full of fulfillment, happiness, good health, power, good money, stable career if not booming, good blogging and good reading (with whatever readers connecting to me) is what I wish in 2009. A new branding of myself. From Sam of 2008 which had most of the leftovers of 2005-07 to Sam of 2009 which would have a new soul and new zeal in his body, it would be a long tough task for him to do the needful.

2008 saw few dreams coming true :

· Work Permit stamped for United States of America for 3 good years. Entire 2nd half of 2008, I was excited for this opportunity. I had it, when time came to fly, the recession engulfed the US and the world. Dream remains to be fulfilled, put ahead by least 4 months, but something to look up to.

· Got rid of an abusive relationship. Yes I have written so many good things I shared with Akki on this blog, but there were bad things too. Happy that the relationship finally ended with not much sparks flying in the end. But the damage was done and for heaven’s sake it wasn’t very huge. I would have loved to stick around with Akki babes for life, but that was not to be and in the end we both went different ways cos we needed different things out of life (clichéd sentence this ? too many celebs use this :P)

· Career was extremes. Onsite travel in Jan – March, thrown out of the project in April, a production support project till Sep with night shifts and a dynamic team with super performers in it with me being the lead , to the bench for 3 months anticipating a travel to US in the year end, finally to land up in clutches of a wicked PM. 360 degrees. Never an year was so eventful in terms of career.

· Car dreams crashed 2 times in space of 4 months. In the end settled with a new bike which has me in the awe. Celebrated my birthday working in a shift and sleeping the entire day J

· Fire fighting with the customer care continued. New lows established in Citibank, AirTel and the worst of all Reliance Broadband. Sad irony that 2 of the best business brands in the country – Reliance (Chote Ambani) and Tata are worst ISPs. AirTel wins hands up, but no service in the area I stay in. 2 days of fighting with Reliance Broadband to shift the connection to new apartment has been disastrous and in the end left me with stress and deep despair with frustration.

· Good friends earned both off the blog and on the blog. Few friends ran away for some silly reasons, one of them is hugely missed and I wish and pray to GOD for all the happiness of the world and all the LOVE in the world for her. She deserves them more than anybody else.

· Fun factor kept missing out of the posts. 11/26 affected me like never before any national event could. Lost the zeal to write and as a result switched to storytelling in last 2 weeks to keep blog alive. Blog is part of my life. It was in 2008, would be in 2009. I cannot take a break from blog. Won’t take any. Shifting to the new apartment is always stressful, more so when it has to be done single handedly. Right now and in March.

· Love remained elusive consciously. Won’t be the case in 2009. Took me long to think about it. Rab ne Bana di Jodi touched me to innermost core and my whinning on Ghajini won me several critical accolades. Asin rocked!!

In short I was in a flux. Had more misses than hits. More average days than bad or good ones. Travelled to Mumbai after 2 years in October 2008 for visa stamping. Not sure when would go next. Or if at all I would ever go. Transition of 2007 continued in 2008. Hopefully in 2009, I would be myself, the way I plan myself to be and the way I have always wanted myself to be. Living over all prejudices, myths and hypes, becoming a good human being with good values and being myself.

I wish everybody who reads my blog, my critics, my nemesis in the blog world a very happy prosperous terror free 2009.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

DDLJ

O ji sare movies ek taraf aur DDLj ek taraf.....Its unparallel..Even after 13 years of release it appeals. To me like crazy. For me its the bEST movie ever watched. DDLJ jaisi koi movie nahi ho sakti. I remember going to Sapna Sangeeta theater 5 times to watch the movie when i was in class XII. Today Inox stands in its place, but the road to the theaeter from Khandwa Road is just itched in memory!!

Watching it time and again over DVD makes me relive those wonderful school days when I turned myself around.

From an introvert to extrovert to no fear........

Cant stop giggling when i remember "aao aao" and when we said the same to Rekha Pillai madam, our fiery English teacher whenever she arrived for her lecture.

Boy o Boy!! Bade Bade deshon me aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti he!!

DDLJ

O ji sare movies ek taraf aur DDLj ek taraf.....Its unparallel..Even after 13 years of release it appeals. To me like crazy. For me its the bEST movie ever watched. DDLJ jaisi koi movie nahi ho sakti. I remember going to Sapna Sangeeta theater 5 times to watch the movie when i was in class XII. Today Inox stands in its place, but the road to the theaeter from Khandwa Road is just itched in memory!!

Watching it time and again over DVD makes me relive those wonderful school days when I turned myself around.

From an introvert to extrovert to no fear........

Cant stop giggling when i remember "aao aao" and when we said the same to Rekha Pillai madam, our fiery English teacher whenever she arrived for her lecture.

Boy o Boy!! Bade Bade deshon me aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti he!!

Heart Breaking Stuff and a trip down memory lane to school day exams!!

It’s a heartbreaking story again. Though some success still comes in the picture, but it almost blurs out the holistic picture. Total result stands out as failure and not as expected. When you miss anything by say 1 % or 1 mark or even within a whisker, it rankles. At best can be termed as bad luck. Luck can’t be blamed if it happens for 2 exams in row. Last fortnight I had missed out Java certification exam by 2 marks or 3 %. Today I missed out on the PM Elite certification (process management in software projects) by 1%. Passing was 65% and I got 64%.

Multiple choice have never been my forte. I have always faltered in them. Engineering entrance was a failure 2 times in a row 12 years back. Could never crack the GATE to be in a range where I could get good PG insti (read IIT). If it was a descriptive exam to write the answers, I am up for it. I always stood amongst the toppers all through my school and college. I could elaborate the descriptive papers like no one. Write, write and write. Though not taking too many supplementary copies like some people do to impress the examiner. I did basic decorating stuff like draw ruler lines on both sides of the page, underline the question mark, number, write PTO at the end and all that stuff. Few of my competitors in school who were girls decorated like hell. I couldn’t never do that. They had multiple color pencils and pens. I always believed blue / black is for you, red is for the checker and the green lies for the principal. But few of my classmates used all this colors with huge discount. Of course the impression helped. The teachers were intelligent enough to gauge whose answer copy it was by studying the writing. May be some bias helped, but when it came to MATHEMATICS, I ruled.

Guptas and we (me and my cousins) ruled the batch of 98. Me and my cousin alternated with the top rank. And then it was Gupta’s. Kirti and Manisha. Amazing hand writing, amazing Hindi vocab and overall good impression. Needless for me to say we always were at loggerheads during early school days only to laugh at when we reached the stage at 12th to part the ways. Lost the touch thereafter only to come to know that Manishaji is in my own company and Kirtiji is a collector in some district in MP (she cracked tough IAS). And wow, myself a lousy Programmer Analyst in Indian IT company and my cousin a smart about to be manager in MNC based in Chicago.

My exam began at 930 AM. I had been in the exam mindset since today morning. Got up @ 530 Am and read out Servlets – the topic I missed out last time. Also chatted with my niece Aishu online on gtalk. In the long run the topic didn’t help much in scoring. First exam was PM elite till 1030 AM and then next one to follow was Java Bridge from 1030 to 1130 AM. I began the exam Sehwag way – bang bang boom. Done in 25 mins. Double check in next 5 mins and at 32 mins I clicked submit with a hope to clear it. The result said it was heartbreak for me. Yet again. 64 %. 1 short of passing.

Being out at 1005 AM with 25 mins to go for the next exam, I went to the food court dejected and had a Butter Milk to pep myself up. Next exam I sat till the last second of 60 mins and analyzed and analyzed. Chopped off the sure questions, double checked the doubtful ones. In the end when I clicked submit, I got the error message “Exception while saving to the database. Please retry”. After checking with Admin, I came to know of the result. It said 72% and I cleared the exam. Cut off was 65%. I was relieved.

2008 even in its parting stage stamped up its authority for me. A year of misses and near hits. Near hits in the sense I made up almost only to lose in the end. Something which I have to rectify in 2009 and be like India team of 2008 in 2009. My first new year resolution comes in form of a defeat……

Monday, December 29, 2008

Award Times and my DiarY!!


Time for the new recipients of the awards :

Long back i had started an award for being Free Spirited and Independent blogger. In the sense free of clutches of bloggerly pleasures i.e not caring about the comments or the world what the world would say.

This time it goes to following set of wonderful bloggers :

For their wonderful spirits of blogging and writing what they want.....

Enjoy the award and flaunt it!!!

A good day today...Was able to execute what i had planned....Rare happening this...Tired after the long travel to Pune from Indore in Raj travel...There is a deep bond b/w me and Raj travels. Have travelled umpteen times. Now i dont ev1 need to have a tkt for the same. Quote the name and ticket number, u get teh seat :)

Got the keys of the new apartment. Packing in progress. Have to get it cleaned and vacate the kabootar khana. Should get the deposit on time.

Office was pretty boring. Reached at 1130 and signed off at 545. Mails dint matter much as most of them said mailbox s approaching 200 MB limit. No work on the projetc, was busy studying certifications for tomorrow..PM arrived late and to stamp her authority that she is in control of things, she drops a liner "what are we doing now"...Fake up the things. Say you are planning X deliverables in Y days....And then she would feel yay she is able to get things done.

She was irrelevant today. My PM is a lady and its tough. Have to be very stringent when i confront her. A wrong sentence n my bums are screwed.

Nothing much is happening on other fronts. 31st i m shifting, TV is irrelevant. Dish TV sucks. Blog rocks. Story effort has come across good. My best effort. Just that i dont know the end. The end of a story. Very tough to define. Happy ending or sad ending dont know. Life is not always about happy endings. Some things ji end up at a very bad note. Jaise kuch blogs. THE END. One misunderstanding and the END ji....Itna aasan hota he hurt hona ? Kisi ne ek baat bol di jo aapke expectations ke hissab se nahi thi aur aapki dosti khatam. Aise to nahi chalti jindagi.

Aajkal ke generation me patience nahi he. Not that i belong to other generation. i belong to this generation. Patience to even i dont have. But then bolne me kya jaata hain. Mera blogging to end nahi hona hainji. Shadi ke baad bhi. Jo bhi bandi aayegi, i dont know if i wud share my blogs with her. No i wont. Thats a done thing....

Apna blogging end karwa sake aisa koi mai ka lal ya lali nahi hainji siwai ek ke. Aur wo ek sirf me hu.....Jab tak blogging karoonga shan se karoonga. Kisi ke aage na jhukna, na kisi fake blogger ya uski gang ke samne ghutne tekna. Enough is enough.....

And yes Ghajini is very ordinary movie. Nothing great!!

Award Times and my DiarY!!


Time for the new recipients of the awards :

Long back i had started an award for being Free Spirited and Independent blogger. In the sense free of clutches of bloggerly pleasures i.e not caring about the comments or the world what the world would say.

This time it goes to following set of wonderful bloggers :

For their wonderful spirits of blogging and writing what they want.....

Enjoy the award and flaunt it!!!

A good day today...Was able to execute what i had planned....Rare happening this...Tired after the long travel to Pune from Indore in Raj travel...There is a deep bond b/w me and Raj travels. Have travelled umpteen times. Now i dont ev1 need to have a tkt for the same. Quote the name and ticket number, u get teh seat :)

Got the keys of the new apartment. Packing in progress. Have to get it cleaned and vacate the kabootar khana. Should get the deposit on time.

Office was pretty boring. Reached at 1130 and signed off at 545. Mails dint matter much as most of them said mailbox s approaching 200 MB limit. No work on the projetc, was busy studying certifications for tomorrow..PM arrived late and to stamp her authority that she is in control of things, she drops a liner "what are we doing now"...Fake up the things. Say you are planning X deliverables in Y days....And then she would feel yay she is able to get things done.

She was irrelevant today. My PM is a lady and its tough. Have to be very stringent when i confront her. A wrong sentence n my bums are screwed.

Nothing much is happening on other fronts. 31st i m shifting, TV is irrelevant. Dish TV sucks. Blog rocks. Story effort has come across good. My best effort. Just that i dont know the end. The end of a story. Very tough to define. Happy ending or sad ending dont know. Life is not always about happy endings. Some things ji end up at a very bad note. Jaise kuch blogs. THE END. One misunderstanding and the END ji....Itna aasan hota he hurt hona ? Kisi ne ek baat bol di jo aapke expectations ke hissab se nahi thi aur aapki dosti khatam. Aise to nahi chalti jindagi.

Aajkal ke generation me patience nahi he. Not that i belong to other generation. i belong to this generation. Patience to even i dont have. But then bolne me kya jaata hain. Mera blogging to end nahi hona hainji. Shadi ke baad bhi. Jo bhi bandi aayegi, i dont know if i wud share my blogs with her. No i wont. Thats a done thing....

Apna blogging end karwa sake aisa koi mai ka lal ya lali nahi hainji siwai ek ke. Aur wo ek sirf me hu.....Jab tak blogging karoonga shan se karoonga. Kisi ke aage na jhukna, na kisi fake blogger ya uski gang ke samne ghutne tekna. Enough is enough.....

And yes Ghajini is very ordinary movie. Nothing great!!