Ok its a double triple nelson post (222). English are very orthodox about it. And a bit skeptical too.
For that matter, I am skeptical too. Of being carried away in relationship. For close to a month now, I have been very grounded and perhaps have written on the blog too.
Last 2 weeks or so, the things are hotting up. I dont want to get to that trap. Thats a sweet trap, but it suffocates.
I still aint able to come out of the night of 25th December 2005 when I was sweetly lured into a trap and it took me long long long time to come out of.
Relationship bloopers are the last thing I want this stage of my life.
All this days, I have talked mushy with her and later I have regretted. Its like cmon Sam how can you do this. You know you've been through hell when Akki thing ended. Still I do it.
I hate being carried away. I think I am quite a cool person which I am not. I harm myself.
Getting to know each other is fine and occasional leg pulling is fine, but mushy talks is not needed. No more. When things go bad, this hurts. I have been through hell and if I dont learn out of that, I would be known a fool.
Am I insecure ? Am I afraid ? Am I being too much thoughtful ? I feel the best thing here to do is to let things go on their own. And not force things and want her to speak what I want. Rather let her speak what she wants to. When she would feel fine reciprocating feelings, it would be fine with me.
Its quite complex. I need to back up a bit. I have to get to the feeling where any mushy talk from her or from my end wont carry me into being a fool or being lured to a trap.
I fear heartbreak. Its a nightmare for me. More than a dog bite, I fear for it.
I mean no offence for her. She is nice sweet girl. I might still end up loving her some time later, but right now I want to hold back myself so that i dont get hurt just in case.
What do you suggest ? Am I making too big an issue out of it ?
5 comments:
Move slowly and remember that history always doesn't repeat itself.
Wish you Good luck.:)
i think ur being too skeptical, but given the past circumstances its absolutely justified. But dont hold urself back. I wud still say follow ur heart.
I second Ria! Don't hold urself back. If you think you CAN fall in love with her sometime in the future, give urself and her too a chance.
Think about her too. Dont you feel she deserves all those "mushy" talks? Give her what she wants..at the end of the day, you will be very very happy. As already said above, History often doesn't repeat itself.
you are right when you say let things take their own course. Dont think so much and get a bit easy on urself. If its for you you will get it. Dont force urself or hold yourself back forcibly.Do what makes you happy and dont be judgemental. As I said good things are onur way now..
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