"you are inconfident n undecisive"

Update : Got "operated". Miniscule, 15 mins long. Was absolute cool and calm when went under knife. Doc was super cool. Paining right now. 3 stiches. Huge plethora of surgical knives and stuff. I dint even know when that cyst was taken out. I was not bothered abt anything but just that it shudnt be cancerous growth. There is going to be a histopathy of the piece of skin that was taken out and results would be out in 4 days. Sounds scary, but isnt. I m pretty cool. Just that some pains when it comes to drive the bike. Take it out of the stand and put it back. thanks that i have self start red mean machine. SO no bother kicking. Since I am on my own here, if there is pain in the night it would be tricky. God Bless me.

Refusals and rejections sometimes go nasty. They turn furious. Even scarier. I have had been at the receiving end of refusals and rejections a couple of times in my personal domain and professional domain, but I have taken them in okish stride every time. I spoke of a girl in my last post who asked me to dump my family to be with her. I found that demand very strange. I asked her was she drunk or did she smoke marijuana or Papua new guinea ? After encountering such a question which is impossible to answer in affirmation, the only thing I could have done was to reject her.

I chose the SMS and here it was :

“Your pre-condition concerns me in addition to the undercurrents of massive ego I found during times I spoke with you. I find it not possible to align myself with this way of living. Modern age, there has to be no vendetta. We have to be liberal and flexible. I don’t know how things could be ahead given this way of thinking. I find it not possible to pursue your proposal ahead.”

I touched a raw nerve of hers and in few mins came the reply :

“Pure gold doesn’t fear flame. To tell you of my decision, I had nodded for you, but I have to say that I do not approve of somebody who is inconfident and undecisive. Your life style is too hot for me and too unpredictable. You need a hot diva not me. Better good bye.”

I could just laugh when I read this, then read again and then again. Monstrous laugh. Pure gold ? Who ? Hot diva ? ROTFL. Ooh la la. All this drama right at the end of the day, in the midnight. This entire episode left me deep questions in my mind. Why can’t people look for somebody who is compatible with them in thoughts and way of life? And is money power only reason behind nodding for somebody ? Why even on earth the arranged marriages do exist? Why can’t people just move on with the rejection? Its not even rejection.

It’s a plain polite refusal to go ahead because I didn’t find a simple good reason to go ahead with spending my life with her. When I couldn’t connect, the pressure and the advices from relatives and others just don’t matter. How can somebody cajole me and force me to nod for her just cos the time is slipping away? I don’t mind being single for another few months if I have to spend life my way and with a partner who would be per my aspirations (which I have bared out in this blog). I don’t want to nod for somebody under any external influence and then end up in an unhappy relationship. I am just not conditioned for that state anymore.

I have had a nasty painful breakup in the past. Cannot afford anymore. For me compatibility matters the most and once that’s there, the love matters the most. Yes. You read it right. I am a big non supporter of arranged marriages. But then do I have guts to find love for myself? May be that answer later :)