Worst thing about your life in tough times is more you try to arrest the slide and more you slide down. More things you try to control and more they slip out of hands. I am down in deep slumber in the work place. Even worst aspect is I am not solely responsible. My team is farce. Easy money goes to the kids who are just in to the IT and who dont know what it takes to sustain the job in this tuff times.
I have to suffer owing to them. This is not acceptable to me. I was in super depressing mode today. Apologised first time in my life to the client on phone in front of the team and upper management for goof up i didnt cause. What i could have done. I find myself helpless and short of options. This are crazy times. Everything that cud go wrong is going wrong. Yesterdat me took my folks out to roam in Crosswords and on return found that the door didnt open. Gas cylinder finished on saturday and all efforts to get a new cylinder soon went bust.
Dont know how to correct the situation and how to rectify.. Things aint gonna go smoother either in coming days. I feel like giving up and accept defeat. I cant turn around the things. More i try worse they become. I am unable to attend to my folks who are visiting me....
Nothing helps. Just nothing. No sigh of relief, no music. You would get cranky when you would have pressure on you from all ends. But then how much is enough ? And how much shit is one amount to tolerate in the life ? How do you feel when somebody else drives your life and you feel horrible about ? How do you cope ? I am fast losing ground. I am loosing..........
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